PooDub

Overheard at the liquor store tonight...

2007-06-16T23:21:00.000-05:00

Two 20-something frat-ish (hot!) boys each with a case of beer...

Boy #1: Dude! Did you get the new "Maxim" yet?!?

Boy #2: I don't get "Maxim".

Boy #1: Dude! WHY NOT?!? (pause...pause...pause, then quietly and disappointed) dude.

It made Dub giggle. Don't know why...just thought it was funny.

After the Tony post, Dub needs to butch it up!

2007-06-13T19:38:00.000-05:00

So, I think I can do that by saying that I went to TWO major league baseball games last week. I saw the White Sox lose terribly to the Yankees on Tuesday and saw the White Sox lose terribly to the Houston Astros on Friday. I drank beer at Comisky Park (I can't bring myself to call it US Cellular field), so I am officially totally butch.

Here are some pics:

We had great seats on Tuesday, just behind the Yankees dugout...about 20 rows back. Look at the great seats I could see from my great seat...

That's Derek Jeter's butt on the left and AJ Pierzynski's on the right.

On Friday night, we weren't so close to the players....
and it was....
Mullet Night!!!!

But I still got a good butt shot from my seat...

Not as close but still some butt.

So, look at how butch I am...all beer and baseball and booties!

Go sports!!

Gayer than a clutch purse on TONY NIGHT!!!

2007-06-10T18:44:00.000-05:00

Thank you Karen for that great title (hopefully Megan will be presenting tonight...LOVE HER!!!)! It is indeed TONY NIGHT!!! And I'm blogging it whether you like it or not, bitches!! I'll blog it until I am there accepting one in person! And who knows, maybe I'll blog while I'm there too?!?

I'm baking a frozen pizza, in my jammies on the sofa, just waiting for the festivities to begin.

On the live streaming pre-show, the cast of Jersey Boys is instructing people in acceptance etiquette...don't lean in and kiss the mike, try not to go to the bathroom or you'll miss your award, and you only have 90 seconds so run onstage, thank your mom and the lord, and get off. CBS is not open to running until midnight like ABC does with the Oscars. :-( I'd watch no matter how long it lasts!

Ok, off to cut the pizza...7 minutes to showtime!!! Go Christine Ebersole and "Grey Gardens"!!!

Ah, Radio City!!! Marvin Hamlisch on the piano as the cast of Chorus Line dances in the street outside Radio City...since "I Hope I Get It"....Michael Baresse...So Sexy!!!!

Presenter line-up doesn't include Megan Mulally. :-( Now Chorus Line cast is doing "One"...haven't we all had enough of that crappy song. Worst song in the show and it is the most well known. Sometimes I don't get people. The cast is great though.

First presenter is Angela Lansbury...LEGEND!!!!! (oh, there is Liev Schrieber...YUM!!!!) Oh, and there are Taye Diggs and Idina Menzel...Love them!!! Angela is greeting folks, not presenting, I guess. She's still lovely, but having a little trouble reading the prompter.

First presenters are actually Christina Applegate and Neil Patrick Harris. Yay!! Doogie and Kelly Bundy. Featured actor in a play...nominees: Anthony Chisholm, Billy Crudup, Ethan Hawke, John Earl Jelks, and Stark Sands (cool name!). Winner is Billy Crudup for "The Coast of Utopia". Know nothing about the play, but it has a ton of nominations!! It is by Tom Stoppard...he's always great.

Next up...Robert Sean Leonard and Vanessa Williams...she looks great, he needs a haircut! The writers are terrible...they keep talking...shut up and present!! Featured Actor in a Musical: Brooks Ashmankas, Christian Borle, John Cullom, John Gallagher Jr, David Pittu. Winner is John Gallagher Jr from Spring Awakening! The first of many awards I'm sure they'll bring home tonight!!! Aw, he's just a kid...and his voice is shaking. So cute! He's starting to cry. Now, Dub's tearing too.

David Hyde Pierce is introducing a scene from his musical "Curtains"...oh, after the commercial break. There is going to be a special performance by Fantasia from "Color Purple"???? What the hell? Why not give musicals from THIS YEAR a few more minutes to perform instead??? Oh, CBS...how you disappoint. I'm sure Fantasia will be lovely but I'd much rather see an extra couple minutes of Spring Awakening or Grey Gardens!! Can't we just go to YouTube and see Fanty sing in Color Purple? I'm sure there are some bootlegs on there...there usually are.

Heidi Klum loves "Cats". So what??

Carla Gugino and Jeff Daniels up to present next...Jeff is getting chubby. Wow. Book writers of musicals...Rupert Holmes (Curtains), Doug Wright (Grey Gardens), Heather Hach (Legally Blonde), Steven Sater (Spring Awakening). Steven Sater for Spring Awakening beats out Doug Wright...wow. Didn't expect that.

Melina Kanakaridis (or however you spell it) played Sally Bowles on Broadway??? Who knew? Oh, she is introducing "Curtains". Oh, John Kander is onstage. So sad...lost his writing partner Fred Ebb this year. :-( The first standing ovation of the night.

David Hyde Pierce, Debra Monk, and Karen Ziemba...I'd love to see this. The production number they're doing is cute. It needed more Debra Monk though...Love her!!

Audra McDonald and John Cullom from 110 in the Shade. He's playing her dad...they'll be performing next. Audra is one of my favorites!! By the way, Dub loves a lot of Broadway performers. :-)

Another commercial. The show needs a host, I think. I miss Rosie O'Donnell!!! She did fun production numbers to open the show and was so funny. Come back, Rosie, now that you've freed yourself from The View.

ugh...iPhone commercials...sick of them already.

Viva Laughlin may be the first regular CBS show that I dvr! It looks fun. Cop Rock meets casinos. FUN!

Taye and Idina!!! HOTTTTTT!!!! I'd be a third in that bedroom! Best original score...Curtains, Grey Gardens, Legally Blonde, Spring Awakening. Winner is Spring Awakening....Duncan Shiek and Steven Sater. This show is interesting...8 years of work...an Off-Broadway run and now Tonys! Duncan Shiek needs to shave. Its the effin' Tonys!!!

Donny Osmond and Anika Noni Rose. I heart Anika...she was great in Dreamgirls. Donny is closing Beauty and the Beast as Gaston. Supporting Actress in a Musical...Charlotte D'Amboise, Rebecca Luker, Orfeh, Mary Louise Wilson, and Karen Ziemba. YAY MARY LOUISE WILSON for Grey Gardens!!! I love her!!! She's in a smart black pantsuit and "Wooo"ing onstage. She's great!! BEST LINE OF THE NIGHT...."I always wondered if I would win and feel like a mistake was made. I don't." I was very disappointed not to get to see her in Cabaret. Blair Brown was great in it, but I love Mary Louise.

Felicia Rashad introducing 110 in the Shade with my girl Audra!!! Felicia annoys me. Audra is one of the best performers alive. Her voice is brilliant, she can sell a song better than anyone, she's funny, she can bring you to tears. She's dancing and doing cartwheels too. Is there anything this girl can't do??? The song is kinda bad, but she sold it well.

YAY!!! Mark Indelicato, the gay kid from Ugly Betty onstage with the cast of Mary Poppins. He's the cutest!! They'll be up next performing. The guy playing the chimney sweep role is cute as can be. I'd love to buy him a sandwich and fatten him up a bit though. :-)

I enjoy Catherine Zeta Jones, Aaron Eckhart, and Abigail Breslin, but "No Reservations" looks dumb as hell.

Next up, Bebe Neuwirth and David Hyde Pierce. Best choreographer: Rob Ashford, Matthew Bourne, Bill Jones, Jerry Mitchell. Bill T. Jones for Spring Awakening. Weird...Not sure how much dance there is in the show. The Off-Broadway version was staged really well but it was mostly just jumping around. He just thanked the director and called him by the wrong name: Michael Myers (the serial killer) instead of Michael Mayer (the Tony winning director). Oh, he just thanked his boyfriend! A GAY CHOREOGRAPHER?!?!?! Weird!

Claire Danes and Rain Wilson...weird combo. Supporting Actress in a Play: Jennifer Ehle, Xanthe Elbrick, Dana Ivey, Jan Maxwell, and Martha Plimpton. Winner is Jennifer Ehle!! An upset...they were predicting that her costar Martha Plimpton would win!!

Mark Indelicato again...such a little cutie. Introducing Mary Poppins. Great number from the show...this music sounds great with a huge Broadway cast! "Step in Time" is fun. Um, there is a weird statue of David onstage dancing in skin-tight gray....creepy for a kids' show. Great cast though!

Commercial...off to pee. Liev and Eddie Izzard coming up....yummy squared!!!

I know this blog entry is long, but Dub's bff Lisa is missing the show tonight...we always watch together. I miss her tonight. :-( She needs to know the moment by moment. (I had frozen pizza, Lisa. And I will be eating some Moose Tracks ice cream later. All for you!)

So many commercials!!!! I need more musical numbers!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ooooo, a Tony moment brought to us by Hilton. Billy Crystal and Hugh Jackman. Again, we miss a host CBS!!!!!!

Harry Smith from the CBS Morning Show...why the hell is he on? Talking about Broadway being popular with tourists. Duh. Oh, we're seeing the "year in plays". Clips from plays. Swoozie Kurtz, Nathan Lane, Kevin Spacey, Angela Lansbury, weird clips.

Liev and Cynthia Nixon...Oh, Liev!!! He is a hottie!!! Have I mentioned that I love Liev? I bet he is amazing in Talk Radio. Best director of a play...(someday it will be me) Michael Grandage, David Grindley, Jack O'Brien, Melly Still. Only heard of Jack O'Brien before. And he wins! For Coast of Utopia. It is doing well tonight! Wow, 24 actors in the show. Maybe I won't direct that one.

Eddie Izzard!!! Not in drag! Presenting Special Theatrical Event Award. Only two nominees: Jay Johnson: The Two and Only and Kiki and Herb: Alive on Broadway. Kiki and Herb lose to a guy with puppets. Oh hell, I hope my friend Barb isn't watching this!!! She'll never let me forget that puppets won another Tony. She likes them...I do not!! Why use a puppet with an actor can react! And an actor isn't made of felt (or paper bags if you are Fandango)!!

A performance from the revival of Sondheim's "Company" is up next. Hooray!! I would love to direct this show. The director of this revival is the guy who keeps making the actors play instruments onstage. An interesting concept the first couple times you do it...stop it now! We've had enough. Let your actors act and sing. Carrying a tuba will restrict yer acting a bit! Well, I've heard. Ok, I haven't heard...I'm just assuming. Oh, shut up! Stop over-analyzing everything I'm typing. Is anyone still reading this blog? If so, comment and let me know that it was compelling enough to read to the 900th paragraph or whatever this is. Make me feel that I am interesting!!

They keep playing "A Spoonful of Sugar" from Mary Poppins...I'm going to be humming that freakin' tune for a month.

Sigh...I'm ready for Christine Ebersole to sing. Hurry Christine. Dubbie Needs You!!

Oh, its back on.

Chairman of the American Theater Wing and Board President. Boring! They're going to tell us about the wonderful things that the Theater Wing does...OMG...the chandelier fell on them!!! Jane Krakowski and John Mahoney just took their place!!!!! What I expected to be boring as shit is now funny. OMG John Mahoney just got bleeped, but not before he said "goddamn" on the air. :-)

Marg Helgenberger and Marvin Hamlisch...weird combo. Talking about new and revivals of musicals with some clips. God, I hate Martin Short! Oh, Donna Murphy. She's adorable. Ugh, a Grinch musical...looks as bad as the movie version with Carrey. Les Miz revival...looks the same as before. Great show...hard to improve on. Something now that I don't recognize. Pirate Queen...don't really care about it...heard some of the music and it kinda sucks...like lord of the dance. Legally Blonde. There is something about Laura Bell Bundy I just don't like. She was good in Hairspray though.

Harry Connick Jr. up next. Director of a musical. Tough category...probably will go to Spring Awakening. John Doyle, Scott Ellis, Michael Grief, Michael Mayer. Yep, Michael Mayer. Good for him. This is his first award for directing a musical...I think he won before for directing a play. Michael, it is never good to open a speech with a private joke that no one laughs at. He is cute though. We'd be a cute little director couple. He just thanked his parents for accepting him and giving him the Judy at Carnegie Hall double album when he was 8. His speech was beautiful.

Patty LuPone. Introducing "Company". She is still looking hot! Raul Esparza is adorable too. He is singing perhaps the most moving version of "Being Alive" I've ever heard! Great song and he really can sell it. This song is haunting when you're single and lonely. :( It was brilliant, but it would have been nice to see some of the rest of the cast.

Christ, they are still promoting this Fantasia number from Color Purple. The Tony award winning LaChanze didn't have this kind of promotion last year when she was actually performing on the Tonys as a nominee!!!! Oh, American Idol, how you've changed the world. It is really weird. There were something like 5 or 6 Idol contestants on Broadway this past year. And my girl Frenchie, who should have been a winner, is still in Rent. Love you, Frenchie Davis!!!

Commercials again. Sigh. Boring boring boring...more musicals please!!

I kinda want my ice cream now, but I don't want to miss anything. Oh, I can pause live tv with my dvr!!! Eh, later.

Judd Hirsch and Marcia Gay Harden. She looks weird. Best play...Coast of Utopia (good god, it is a 9 hour play!!! Of course it is winning everything), Frost/Nixon (I love Michael Sheen!!!), Little Dog Laughed (by Douglas Carter Beane...who I LOVE!!!), and Radio Golf by the late August Wilson. Winner is .... being announced later. Weird.

Felicity Huffman and Sam Waterston presenting best revival of a play. Noms: Inherit the Wind, Journey's End, Talk Radio, Translations. Winner is....Journey's End. Sorry Liev. I'd have voted for your show!!! Who wrote Journey's End...never heard of it...and its a revival. Um, there are about 75,000 people on stage to accept. Good god.

Oh my, Tommy Tune...he is not aging well. Oh, the death tribute! Anne Pitoniak, Daniel McDonald, Betty Comden, Charles Nelson Reilly, Fred Ebb...sad year. Barnard Hughes, Jay Harnick...aw, they shut off all the marquis signs on Broadway as a tribute. Dubbie teared again.
Gotta pee again. I know you don't care, but urine is a part of life, ya know.

My cat is clawing my chair...I'm tired of yelling at her for it. And it doesn't do any good anyway. Damn cat...she's lucky I love her like a child.

Wolfgang Puck is talking about Broadway...shut up.

Kevin Spacey and Jane Krakowski. Talking about their NY theater debuts...Jane in Starlight Express and Kevin as a dog in something. Best revival of a musical: Apple Tree, Chorus Line, Company, and 110 in the Shade. Winner is Company. Crap, that freakin' director is going to keep doing shows where actors play instruments. I'm sure it is a good show...I just hate gimmicks...especially repeat gimmicks...STOP IT!

Brian Dennehy and Audra McDonald. Best Actress in a Play. Eve Best, Swoozie Kurtz, Angela Lansbury, Vanessa Redgrave, and Julie White. Come on Julie!!!!!!! Winner is Julie White!!!!!! I have loved her since "Grace Under Fire"!!!! And she won for the Douglas Carter Beane play!!!!!! She beat out some LEGENDS!!!!! Her speech was adorable...she is so surprised to have won.

Matt Cavanaugh looking cute as hell talking about Grey Gardens. Performance is coming up next!!!! HOORAY!!!!

Oy, commercial for the new Hairspray movie. I really hope it doesn't suck, but I'm afraid it is going to. John Travolta is NO HARVEY FIERSTEIN!!!!! I saw Harvey as Edna....and Marissa Jaret Winokur as Tracy. It doesn't get any better than that! It couldn't possibly. I am excited about Queen Latifah though...that was a brilliant bit of casting!

The cast of Jersey Boys are back...singing from a show that isn't nominated tonight. COME ON!!! Grey Gardens needs more time, you buttheads!!!! They aren't even all that good! Now they are talking about the Tonys presented earlier. Best orchestrations to Duncan Sheik for Spring Awakening, best lighting of a play to Coast of Utopia, best lighting of musical to Spring Awakening, Best costume of play to Coast of Utopia, best costume for musical Grey Gardens (William Ivey Long...another legend), Coast of Utopia got scenic design...for a musical to Mary Poppins.

Anne Heche and John Turturro. I hate Anne Heche. BOOOOOO!!! Best actor in a play...Boyd Gaines, Frank Langella, Brian F. O'Byrne, Christopher Plummer, and Liev Schreiber! GO LIEV!!!! Winner is Frank Langella. Sorry Liev...I'll comfort you later. Let Dubbie hold you!!! If Frank Langella doesn't thank Michael Sheen, he is a jerk. Dammit, this is a moving speech...I can't be mad that he didn't mention Michael Sheen.

Patrick Wilson!!!! HOTTIE!!!! Introducing Grey Gardens!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CHRISTINE EBERSOLE!!!!!! My God, if you've seen the documentary "Grey Gardens", it is creepy how brilliantly perfect Christine Ebersole is! If she leaves the show and it continues to run, who the hell could replace her?!?!

Spring Awakening performance is up next. I think they're going to perform "Bitch of Living"...awesome song. SHUT UP ABOUT FANTASIA!!!!!!!!!!! Either let her sing or don't, but stop talking about her "coming up". Jesus!!!!!

I have to say that I don't like this trend of letting one star from an ensemble of a show sing to represent the whole musical. Christine was great, Audra was great, Raul was great...but what about all those other performers...Do production numbers!!! Big first act closers are fun to watch!!! The solos are wonderful, but does that really sell a show to a general audience who may be tuned in? Do they tune in? Who knows.

Christopher Plummer is on now. Presenting Best Play...we've talked about the noms already. Coast of Utopia, Frost/Nixon, Little Dog Laughed, Radio Golf. Winner is Coast of Utopia. Again, it is a 9 hour epic trilogy. Does a comedy by the screenwriter of "To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar" stand a chance against that? Seems slightly unfair. Oh well, I love you, Douglas Carter Beane!! My bff and I had a blast playing your leads in "Advice From a Caterpillar"!!! Keep writing great plays!! Um, I must be tired...he'll never read this. Duh. Oy, too much talking from producers! Shush...lets hear some music.

Zach Braff...with some bad hair. He just came out of the closet as a musical theater fan. :-) He is introducing Spring Awakening! Finally, a kick-ass production number!!!! With the FULL cast onstage!!! GREAT number!!!

Oh Christ, they are talking about Fantasia AGAIN!!!!! Only 25 more minutes left. I think I'll wait for my ice cream. Much as I want some Moose Tracks, i guess I can wait. After all, I hear that Fantasia's coming up. I hope that pain in the ass Oprah is paying a lot of money for the build-up of her "Oprah Winfrey presents The Color Purple with Fantasia". Have I blogged about how much I dislike Oprah. I think she does wonderful things with her money, but she puts her name and logo on everything she does. Are all those little African girls in her school tattooed with Oprah's logo? It wouldn't surprise me. I'm sure that they've all signed contracts saying "Any success I achieve in life will always be thanks to Oprah and Oprah alone. Anything I've done to succeed is simply a coincidence. It is all about Oprah."

Jayne Alexander presenting to Atlanta's Alliance Theatre as Regional Theatre Award winner. Well, recapping the presentation from earlier.

Ok, here comes Fantasia. I hope the build-up was worth it. She looks ridiculous in her crazy fluffy prom dress. She is a little melodramatic...ok, more than a little. She was crying before she started to sing. I mean, come on. It is a great song and is powerful, but she is no LaChanze!! Fanty is way too over the top. Screeching up a storm. Then she just strode off in tears. Crazy!

Bernadette and Harvey!!!!!!!!!!! Two of the best!!! Harvey almost tripped on Bernadette's dress and then lost his balance and almost fell over. HARVEY GETS DIRTY!!! Michael Cerveris, Raul Esparza, Jonathan Groff, Gavin Lee, and David Hyde Pierce. Best actor in a musical is........David Hyde Pierce! REALLY??? SERIOUSLY???? Wow. Oh, Debra Monk and Karen Ziemba are crying. So sweet. And so is he!! Okay, now I am too. He just thanked "My partner Brian"!!!! I have never heard him publicly talk about being gay. And he has been with the same man for 24 years. WOW.

Usher and Ben Vereen. Ben Vereen annoys me...he always talks sooooo slowly and dramatically. Stop complimenting each other's talent and present!!!! Lead Actress Musical....Laura Bell Bundy, Christine Ebersole, Audra McDonald (or as Usher called her "Audrey"), Debra Monk, and Donna Murphy!!!! HOORAY CHRISTINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Her second win...well deserved. You're brilliant!! She is so genuine and adorable!

Best musical yet to present...by Angela Lansbury who also opened the show. Six minutes, they better hurry or CBS will cut them off. I feel bad for the winner...they are going to get screwed over by CBS! DAMN YOU FANTASIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Peed again...in case you're tracking my potty habits.

I wonder how long Midsommarfest goes...I want a corn dog.

Curtains, Grey Gardens, Mary Poppins, and Spring Awakening...winner is Spring Awakening! Not a surprise at all. They have no time to talk. Tom Hulce in a producer of this...is that the same Tom Hulce who was an actor? Hm. If it is the same, he has gained a lot of weight (not that I can talk, but still...).

I knew it...they're getting cut off.

And Angela gets to scream "Good night everybody. Come to Broadway."

All in all, a fun night. Needed Rosie to host (or Hugh if she was unavailable), more production numbers, less Oprah build-up...but it was okay. My grade: B.

If you made it this far, good for you! I'm off to get a bowl of Moose Tracks. It'll be more fulfilling that Fantasia.

love,
Dub

Hooray for ABC

2007-06-08T10:38:00.000-05:00

It was announced today that Isaiah Washington, the homophobic actor who called cutie patootie TR Knight a "faggot" on set and then referenced it publicly at last year's Emmys, has not had his contract renewed to return to "Gray's Anatomy". I stopped watching this show because of his comments (oh, and the scripts got shitty!) so if TR Knight comes back perhaps I'll start to watch again!

In some sort of passive-aggressive veiled threat, Washington's response to the news today was "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore"...whatever the hell that means! Either way, ABC has decided not to "take it" from him either.

I'm proud of ABC ... it is probably their best decision since "Lost"!

And Isaiah, perhaps Don Imus is available for a shoulder for him to cry on...I hear he lost his job for being a bigot as well.

Dub

Dub may have a new favorite singer/songwriter

2007-05-31T17:14:00.000-05:00

You guys need to check out Susan Werner. I heard about her today on a podcast talking about her new album on which she wrote and performs her own original "agnostic gospel" music. The album is called "The Gospel Truth". She is really brilliant...both as a writer and a performer. My two favorites so far are "Probably Not" and "(Why is Your) Heaven So Small".

Check out the lyrics for the latter:

(Why Is Your) Heaven So Small

excuse me sir, what did you say?
when you shout so loud, it's hard to tell
you say that i must change my ways
for i am surely bound to hell

well i know you'd damn me if you could
but my friend, that's simply not your call
if god is great and god is good
why is your heaven so small

you say you know you say you've read
that holy bible up on your shelf
do you recall when jesus said
judge not, lest ye be judged yourself

for i know you'd damn me if you could
but my friend, that's simply not your call
if god is great, and god is good
why is your heaven so small

with your fists that shake, and your eyes that burn
what makes you do these things you do?
i would not be surprised to learn
someone somewhere excluded you

but my friend, imagine it if you would
a love much mightier than us all
o if god is great and god is good
why is your heaven
so small

Check out her site at www.susanwerner.com or look her up on iTunes!

Sadness and bad moods

2007-05-24T01:15:00.000-05:00

Dub usually tries to keep the blog light and fun. I could write tonight about the fact that I sat for over two hours to cry like a girl with our Jordin Sparks as she won "American Idol". I could write about the crazy season finale of "Lost". I could comment on Star's bad performance on SVU Tuesday night as...HERSELF!!! She even sucks at being her.

Instead, I am feeling blah tonight and need to vent about what is apparently my karmic payback for what must have been a horrible act. Everything in Dub's life seems to be going into the ole crapper. I'm still not employed ... despite the emailing of easily 100 resumes over the last couple weeks. I do have a second interview for a good job coming up but it is taking a while to schedule the second meeting...and in the meantime I am draining my savings.

I think at some point along the way, I've talked about the fact that I do theater in Chicago. If not, I do. For over a year, I've been busting my ass to keep up a new theater space that we moved into. I started a branch of the company that performs for kids and had pretty grand plans for the coming year. I found out last week that we are losing the space because we can't afford the rent. Because of other commitments and duties, I never even got the opportunity to perform in a mainstage/primetime show in the space that I did a shitload of work to keep running. I am frustrated because I can't do anything to help save the place...I'd need to come up with a lot of money in a short period of time...if I could do that, I'd have to use it to pay my own rent at home.

So, I'm single, jobless, and losing the business that was my passion. I'm lucky to have some great friends who have been supportive of me with all the drama, but I'm starting to feel really down about it all.

Sorry I couldn't be funny today. I'll try to be funny later.

Dub

Ruining "The View" wasn't enough for that bitch?!?!?!

2007-05-22T15:28:00.000-05:00

Loyal readers know how the Poo and the Dub feel about that human mess known as Star Jones. I was appalled to discover today that she is guest starring on the season finale of one of my favorite shows, SVU! She's playing a lawyer...big stretch of her acting skills there, huh? What's next? Maybe next season she can crash onto the Lost island or become one of the Heroes. Ruin some more shows I like, you hideous monster!!!!

Dub appears to be taking out his frustration with his complete mess of a life on Star...fair or not, the bitch deserves it.

The Hoff

2007-05-09T18:48:00.000-05:00

So, David Hasselhoff was on Access Hollywood tonight wearing an "Abercrombie Phys Ed" t-shirt...Um, isn't he like 60 now? Isn't there a max age on Abercrombie wear?

PS...a couple of you commented on "Drive" being canceled already. Poor Nathan Fillion...will he EVER get a series that lasts? Maybe they'll do a film version of this show too?

Come out, come out...

2007-04-18T11:09:00.000-05:00

Every gay man should come out to his family this way! And every family's reaction should be just like this.

Its like "Lost" meets "Cannonball Run"...

2007-04-15T21:09:00.000-05:00

...but with Nathan Fillion to make it even more delicious! Dub just finished watching the premiere of "Drive", the new show on FOX about an illegal cross-country road race. It looks fairly promising. I'm most excited that I get to watch Nathan Fillion every week...he was on two of my favorite tv series: Firefly and Buffy. Plus he's delicious...had I mentioned that? Dubbie had a shitty day today so he was happy to have two hours of Nathan to enjoy. There's another hour tomorrow night. FOX loves Dubbie.

Thats all...nothing funny...nothing interesting...I'm not in the mood. Just watch "Drive" so that it doesn't get cancelled...because Nathan Fillion is delicious.

Important things that unemployment has taught me...

2007-04-12T22:04:00.000-05:00

1. Judge Judy is the best! Judge Maria Lopez would be second if there weren't so darn many reruns, so I put Judge Marilyn Milian of "People's Court" in second place.

2. Oprah just isn't interesting anymore.

3. "The View" is WAY more interesting with Rosie than it ever was with Meredith (even when Star was around for me to mock).

4. You can miss up to four episodes of "Days of Our Lives" without losing your place in the plotlines.

5. No matter how many times you tell the guy who works at the convenience store in your building that you are unemployed, he will ask every day "You no work today?".

6. There is a LOT of gay porn on the internet.

7. You should not look at said gay porn while at Starbucks...it's not so private.

8. Surprisingly, being unemployed is not a big turn-on to other single men.

9. Cats will not participate in "water cooler chat".

10. Craigslist posts jobs too! It's not just for gay sex ads! Who knew?!?!?

11. All plans to use extra time to read more, keep an immaculate home, and stay in touch with friends and loved ones are futile. It is easier to procrastinate when you always have free time tomorrow.

Dub is off to Craigslist now to ... um ... check job ads. Yeah, that's it.

XO,
Dub

Is it really about Rosie?

2007-04-03T07:39:00.000-05:00

Howdy strangers. Dub needs to be a little bit serious today.

Don't know about you, but Dub is sick of hearing about what an evil hideous person Rosie O'Donnell is because she is lucky enough to have a live daily forum for her opinion. How about instead of making her into the fat, gay, American-hating liberal bitch, we listen to what she is saying. She is saying that as Americans, we deserve to hear the truth from our government and we deserve better news coverage of a war that is destroying a generation of young men and women.

Do we really need more stories about Rosie and Bill O'Reilly? Maybe another 10,000 stories about men that may have fathered Anna Nicole's baby? Will Heather Mills leg fly off during a cha-cha? Will Sanjaya be voted off this week? Will Brit's hair ever grow back?

If we want that kind of hot gossip, we'll watch "Entertainment Tonight" not ABC News. Get over it...it's a talk show, people. It's not like she's taking good literature and putting big O's on the cover and claiming that she single-handedly got the world to read books!!!

I found this that sums it up well...enjoy.

http://www.jibjab.com/what_we_call_the_news

By the way, Dub still needs work. My rent is almost $800 a month...I was going to turn tricks, but 800 tricks a month just to make rent is tiring.

Love,
Dubbie

Happy Hallmark Day!

2007-02-14T12:19:00.000-06:00

A special thanks from Dub to the fine folks at Hallmark for creating a day that reminds us single folk that we are loveless and alone. We really appreciate that.

Dub is hitting Halsted (the gayest street in Chicago) tonight and bringing home the first guy who is nice to him...don't worry, there are no nice guys on Halsted. I'll stumble home to sleep with the cats when the bars close down.

If you're one of the lucky folks who is actually able to celebrate Valentines Day with someone whose first name you'll remember in the morning, have a great day. For the rest of us, let's make a pledge to punch or kick any red thing we see today.

At least I'm not bitter!

Love,
Dubbie

A Gay Man Blogs the Super Bowl - Second Half

2007-02-04T19:31:00.000-06:00

Well, game is back. Sigh. It is really raining hard now. More slippery balls.

If nothing else, this is solidifying my indifference toward sports.

It is currently 2 degrees below zero in Chicago...without the wind chill! I am so glad I opted to stay in and blog this for you guys instead of going to one of those Super Bowl parties I was invited to. Ok, I wasn't invited to any. But I wouldn't have left the apartment anyway!! The cats are back now that Prince is gone and we're cuddling on the couch under a Wizard of Oz blanket...nothing says FOOTBALL like that! Plus I'm in my pajamas...not again, but STILL. I put jeans on over my flannel pj pants to go downstairs to the convenience store...that is as ambitious as I got today.

Three more points for the Colts. Crap!

Commercial for a new Disney film that appears to feature Joan Cusack! Hooray!! Love her!

Um, the Bears, much as I would like them to win, seem to be playing like crap.

Ugh, the Revlon coloring commercial with Cheryl Crow is terrible. Her gay hairdresser is so jealous of the Revlon box of coloring that he does perhaps the gayest hair-flip ever shown during a Super Bowl game!

The lions talking about carne asada and Ricardo Montalban is funny. Any references to Ricardo are usually funny.

Brooke Shields...what has happened to you? You're friends with Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes...and now doing a guest stint on Two and a Half Men? How low you have fallen!

Ok, the Colts almost scored again. This is getting out of hand. I didn't invest nearly three hours to football on a freakin' Sunday to watch the Bears LOSE!!! What the hell is the point? And I just know that if I turn the game off to watch figure skating on ESPN (it really is on!) or repeats of Grease: You're the One That I Want or Beaches on Oxygen, I'll miss some huge comeback that involves a striptease by Urlacher and Grossman. I can't risk that.

Colts just scored a field goal. Now the score is 22-14. COME ON!!!

Um, Emerald Nuts will keep Robert Goulet from messing up your office in the afternoon? That's kinda funny.

I'm not sure how many more Grammy commercials I can take!

Okay, I predict that the comeback approaches here for our Bears. See, I can call them "our" Bears because I live in Chicago and I've been to Soldiers' Field. Of course, it was for the opening ceremony of the Gay Games, but I've been there!!!

No one should ever choose Nationwide. Anyone who would pay Federline to do their commercial deserves to go out of business!

The Bud Light commercial with the hitchhikers with the axe and the chainsaw is funny!

Ok, Bears have the ball and announcers are blah, blah, blahing about what they need to do now. I vote for ... um ... some scoring, perhaps? Oh, they got a first down...that's a good thing if I remember the basics of football correctly! And Grossman throws a lovely pass that falls right onto the ground nowhere near any other player on the field.

The most exciting thing that has happened in the last two minutes is that I spilled a little bit of diet root beer on my shirt, cursed loudly, and the cats are gone again.

Robbie Gould for a field goal...and it's good!!!! 22-17!!! The start of the comeback.

All the uniforms are sooo wet and clinging. I think I saw this porno once. Cuz if you're stuff in the rain, white pants are the way to go!!

Ok...be right back. Have a cat to kill!!!!!!!!

Luckily there was some kind of challenge to a call because the cats came back and Isabelle promptly decided to vomit on the couch. I love this cat and she is really lucky because she can be a giant pain in the ass.

Commercials again...none of them impressive enough to write about. Sigh.

15 minutes left in the game...Colts in the lead 22-17 and they have possession of the ball.

Bored.

Bored.

FYI...I have no new email and there are no google images of Grossman shirtless. Also, it is impossible to find the old photo of Boomer Esiason when he did the underwear ad in the early 90s/late 80s.

DAMNED COLTS SCORE AGAIN!!!!!!!!!! 11 point lead now! 12 after the extra point. COME ON, BEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!

With 10 minutes left, the Colts intercept a pass that should have been a first down. This kinda sucks. Sigh, remember how exciting it was when the Bears had the lead in the first minute of the game?

Old men can canoe now...thanks to Flomax...which helps you to not have to pee as often, as long as you don't have prostate cancer.

This CBS sitcom with Patrick Warburton, David Spade, and some pretty boy looks painfully unfunny.

Not sure how I feel about this Silence of the Lambs prequel. I bought the book and like a week later the film was announced. I haven't even started the book yet. Did Thomas Harris actually write a novel or just a novelization of his screenplay for the film? Not sure what to think.

Obviously, I am bored with football.

Just about 5 minutes left of the game.

Minute and a half left. It is not looking good for our hometown Bears. And Brian is going to be in such a bad mood when he comes home tonight!! I'm dreading his grumpiness!!

Game over...Bears lose. That's a shame...oh well. Four hours dedicated to this game. Four hours I'll never get back.

Don't expect more football blogs unless them come from Poo!

Happy end of the weekend.
Dub

A Gay Man Blogs the Super Bowl - Half-Time

2007-02-04T19:02:00.000-06:00

Boring...they are just talking about football now. We just watched two hours of football...do we really need to revisit it all?!?!

Remember when Boomer Esiason was really hot? He is still cutish, but used to be way hot...he did a hot underwear ad once. I googled it, but no luck. :-(

Um, where is Prince? I think it would be more fun if Prince sang an update of the first half of play. :-) Oh, I crack myself up.

Until Prince is on, I'm off to search for Boomer Esiason underwear pictures!

DEARLY BELOVED, WE ARE GATHERED HERE TODAY TO GET THROUGH THIS THING CALLED LIFE!!!!!

Let's go crazy?!?!? AWESOME!!!! The man is a lunatic, but a genius!!

The cats just got scared of the high-pitched OOOOOO-WEEEEE scream and ran out of the room! :-)

How psyched must that marching band be to be accompanying Prince??

Oh, Purple Rain...I love this song! Cool lighting effect with the big shadow of him playing the guitar.

Oh yes, I am singing along with the crowd in my living room!

Um, after two hours of football, I get ten minutes of Prince! I feel robbed!

After the Super Bowl CBS will present a very special crime drama with Mandy Patinkin, Shamar Moore, and Greg from Dharma and Greg. Seriously? That's the best they've got to keep an audience after the freakin' Super Bowl???

Is anyone else really tired of the Who Stole the Show bullshit?

Ok...game's gonna start again.

A Gay Man Blogs the Super Bowl - First Half

2007-02-04T17:43:00.000-06:00

Um, Dubbie is NOT a sports person. Well, I like figure skating, does that count? But I live in Chicago so this seems like a big deal to write about all this as it happens.

Ok, my first complaint. I needed some sour cream for my chili I made and some more Diet Coke, so I ran downstairs to the convenience store to get these Super Bowl essentials right after the coin toss. I walk out the door of the store to about 25 cars honking...Yeah, I left home for less than five minutes and missed the first touchdown. Oy!!

My God, Urlacher is hot! If you're reading this and you're in the closet, I am good at keeping secrets...oh, the game is still on.

Dammit...Colts score! Now, if I understand this game correctly, someone should have stopped that from happening.

Oops...the ball was wet and the snap to the guy who holds the ball for the kicker (I'm sure that there is a name for what he does) dropped it...I bet it just got really awkwardly quiet at your parents' Super Bowl party.

Hey, Billy Joel did a nice job with the anthem, huh? I love him. Can't wait to see Prince.

Why aren't these commercials better? Isn't it like $9,000,000,000 for a 30 second spot? You can do better than that!!

More ball dropping and the Colts recover the ball...oh shit, and again, now the Bears have it back!! Hooray Urlacher (see you later, honey!)!!! These football players are klutzy!! We figure skating fans are not used to this.

Oh, Bears are close to scoring again. Ok, I'm starting to actually get into this! I was just yelling at the tv...at some guy with a 20 on his back...GO!! Was someone named Booger McFarlan? I swear that is what the announcer just said.

SCORE!!!! By Muhammad!! He does a fun little dance with the ball, slams his chest into another guy, who then does an awkward celebration dance of his own...but the grass is wet and he nearly falls. Smooth.

Oh, the commercials just got good...some movie called "Pride" with a bunch of swimmers in tiny speedos. Hooray for Super Bowl commercials!!! Um, "Survivor" is still on??? What the hell?? That show sucks. I never watch CBS...I don't think they have a good show anymore, do they?

Game's back. 14-6 and more commercials.

Chevy has a bunch of people singing Chevy songs. I've not really recognized any of the folks singing...but it was cute. Oh, Carlos Mencia teaching ESL in a Bud Light commercial.

HA!!! Dave Letterman cuddling on the sofa with Letterman...tee hee...funny Letterman commercial. That's good...he lost a lot of funny over the years.

Another dropped ball. If the rain is such an issue for playing this, maybe they should play inside. There is a lot of butt-patting going on there on the sidelines...love it!

Oh, there is some arguing over a play here. Drama...now a homo feels welcome. Oh Christ, now the Bears fumbled again and the Colts recovered the ball. A bunch of guys dogpiled onto Grossman...FUN! I'm going to totally sign up for a gay football league now! (Of course I'm not...not even for dogpiles)

While they argued over another penalty, I did some googling for shirtless Brian Urlacher...no locker room shots, but had some success!!

Uh oh, BEARS DOWN!!! There appear to be some injuries. Is this the fault of the rain as well? Damn you, mother nature!!! Ok, the injured Bears are up now. The injured players were neither Urlacher nor Grossman, so I have no idea who they are.

45 seconds left in the first quarter. Football is slow-moving. That 20 minute quarter took over an hour. No wonder "The Simpsons" are always being pre-empted.

Oh, Patrick Warburton is in the crowd! He's hot!! Sitting next to David Spade makes him even sexier.

Still 14-6. First quarter finally over! GO BEARS!!!

GoDaddy.com? Apparently their marketing department is made up of slutty whores.

The Coke Side of Life. Give a little love and it all comes back to you. Cute commercial with the animated guy doing good deeds aplenty. Karma is crap...no matter much good stuff I do, nothing good happens to me.

How much must it suck to make it to the Super Bowl and injure your knee in the first quarter and not get to play in the rest of the game? PooDub's sympathies to that guy...still don't know his name...again, he's not Urlacher.

The Budweiser commercial with the sad dog getting splashed with mud and being mistaken for a dalmation.

You too can vote for who gets the fine privilege of singing with Justin Timberlake...cbs.com if you care. I don't.

Um, I need to pay better attention...the score changed and I don't know how. It is 14-9 now. I blame the announcers...shouldn't they get really excited when something good happens so that I know to pay attention?? Slackers.

HOORAY FOR THE DORITOS COMMERCIAL I VOTED FOR!!!!! My friend Jennifer's friend plays the grocery clerk and she is hilarious!!!!!!

Um, the Chevy commercial with tons of shirtless guys was surprisingly unexciting. Meh.

To my knowledge, no one has scored or dropped anything in a while. Its a little bit dull. Peyton Manning's footwork in the pocket has improved a lot this year. Okay, I am just quoting the announcer because I don't know what else to say about this. Oh, Urlacher tackled someone!!! ME NEXT!!!!

Colts are on the one yard line now. Shit! Touchdown for the Colts. They're now ahead 15-14. And they got an extra point!

There's a Bud Light commercial where people are just smacking each other. It's really making me laugh for some reason...smacking people is funny.

The heart attack commercial isn't as funny. A guy dressed as a heart is being attacked by guys in shirts that say things like "Diabetes" and "High Blood Pressure". Meh.

Okay, it's been over an hour and a half...I'm ready for Prince....I think we're all praying for another wardrobe malfunction, right? Why doesn't love the idea that Prince's boob will make an appearance?!?

The Coke commercial for Black History Month is surprisingly dull. Disappointing.

Still about 5 minutes in the first half of the game. Sigh.

Ok, I have to pee...someone will probably score while I'm gone.

I'm back ... still 16-14. Colts have the ball, 2 minutes in the half, more commercials.

William H. Macy, John Travolta, and that guy from Home Improvement in a movie together as an awkward "biker gang"? What's next? How about Felicity Huffman, Daryl Hannah, and Martha Stewart in Showgirls 2: The Next Generation?

Bears recovered a fumble with about a minute and a half in the first half. Well, the Colts just got the ball back again. That didn't last long. Slippery balls are a hazard! (insert Dub's insane giggling here)

Christ, football is boring. Remember 20 minutes ago when I said there were 5 minutes left? We're at 15 seconds and the clock is running out. Colts are making a field goal attempt, but call another timeout first. And another!! And a missed kick. HAHA!! It is still 16-14 going into halftime.

And I'll be right back.

LOVE YOU ALL,
Dub

A Very Dubbie New Year...OY!!

2007-01-09T14:20:00.000-06:00

Dubbie had a very memorable end to 2006 and a crazy beginning of 2007.

I had plans to go out with my best friend but she ended up with a stomach flu...yucko. So I figured I'd just stay in and watch tv. However, this was not meant to be. My friend John contacted me and said he was going to see "Pan's Labyrinth" which I'd just heard about on Ebert and Roeper that morning so I said I'd go with him.

We went to the movie (which is brilliant, but don't see it if you have a weak stomach! It is pretty graphic!) and afterward we thought we'd have a drink. Well, John knew that a local gay leather bar was having a little party with food and champagne and the cover was only $5, which sounded good to me.

Now, those of you who know me realize that I am not a leather guy. John said I actually looked like a deer caught in the headlights as some of the leather daddies went by. There was quite an array of guys there...a very old Asian gentleman who was maybe 5 foot tall and walked around the bar completely naked the whole night, a very attractive young guy in full leather gear with his butt hanging out the back of some chaps, a GORGEOUS blond college "frat boy" looking guy who also seemed out of place (or so I thought...he'll come up again later). One of my favorite sighting was the tough-looking leather daddy fully bearded and decked out in leather head to toe who was full-on singing along with the Dreamgirls dance mix that was playing in the bar...cracked me up.

So, back to me. Midnight came and we toasted. Suddenly ALL the lights in the bar went out. Apparently, I'd gotten myself into the middle of a "lights out" party. My naive nature kicked in when I figured the worst that could happen was a grope or two...and I hadn't been groped in a while, so what the hell.

My friend then points out the hot blond college boy I'd been eying earlier. I turned and literally a foot away from me, this guy is bent over, pants around his ankles, with another guy ... um ... "taking" him from behind. Now, I'll admit, I've seen pornography before, so this act isn't necessarily new to me. However, I've never really been this close to the live act in a bar! Needless to say, my evening was cut short and my friend drove me home.

Happy new year...can anyone beat that evening? Share your stories!!

My birthday was this last week and I had an eventful evening with friends on Saturday. I'll write more about it later.

Dub

The Dub LIVES!!!!!

2007-01-04T00:19:00.000-06:00

It is now 19 minutes into the 37th anniversary of the day of Dubbie's birth. The first 19 minutes of my birthday have been fairly uneventful. Nathan was the first person to wish me a happy birthday...9 minutes into the day. Try not to envy him...he just happened to be cruising the internet at the same time I was. :-)

I just wanted to assure you, loyal 4 readers (if we haven't already lost you!!), that the Dub lives on and will attempt to blog more regularly. Tomorrow, maybe I'll blog about my crazily eventful new years eve at a leather bar!!!!!! That oughta keep ya coming back!

Hugs to all,
Dubster

Where oh where has my little Dub gone?...

2006-11-30T13:13:00.000-06:00

Thankfully my work has slowed to a less nervous breakdown-inducing pace (for now) and I have time to blog back and forth with my Dubbie. Unfortunately, Dub is MIA. Last we spoke, he was on his way to visit family for Thanksgiving. That was more than one week ago. Maybe he packed up his toothbrush and dance belt and fled to Missouri to direct “Red, White, and Blaine”

Somewhere Wanda Weeps...

2006-11-06T13:33:00.000-06:00

Are any of you old enough to get that reference?

Vinnie, it seems your buddy Doogie is a big ole 'mo! It seems gross to talk of his homosexuality while looking at that photo of him as a kid, so here you go...

Now THAT is gay! :-) So, the rumor is that he is dating uber-cute David Burtka, who is a musical theater actor.

Why must all these hot guys come out and then announce they already have boyfriends? That's like saying "Hey you want some pizza...oh, by the way, it has anchovies on it!" Freakin' rude. I'll just keep holding out hope that TR Knight is still free!

Dub is going on record now as available to any hot celebrity guy who wants to come out with a famous blogger boyfriend. My good friend Poo and I have literally tens of people who visit our site. I can see the headlines now: "Former Friend Matthew Perry announced today that he and long-time lover Dubbie De Blogger can no longer keep their love a secret!" Hey, a homo can dream!!!

The First of "My Lasts"...

2006-11-03T08:07:00.000-06:00

It is my Last Day of Work!

Here is my last 6:15 train coming to take me to my last day of work...

Oh, and my last large Diet Coke from the McDonalds where they know my order. I may miss you most of all, Diet Coke!

And this is so sad. Here is my last cup of what we call "Eric Coffee" here. He puts in two bags of Starbucks (blech) grounds so you get a cup of coffee you can't possibly drink without 12 creamers and 39 packages of Equal. "Eric Coffee" has actually caused coronary arrest in lab mice...but it is good shit when you have to sit thru a boring meeting!!!

Stay tuned for more milestones ... I'll blog them as they happen ... what else am I going to do on my last day? WORK?!?!? MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Dub prepares for his exit interview today!

2006-11-02T09:10:00.000-06:00

What should I do?

2006-10-27T08:13:00.000-05:00

Da Dub is only a week away from unemployment. I can't decide what I want to do with my life. As is almost always the case with me when I'm having an existential crisis, I turned to my television friends for advice and ideas.

Here are my current options for work (Anne, pay attention, you may want to think about some of these too!):

1. Assistant to a REALLY HOT publisher. If the assisting gets dull, then I can just stare at his ass every time he walks by. (I do a lot of ass-staring at my current job already!)

2. Vampire slayer - Buffy bagged some hotties!!!

3. Flight attendant - Maybe I would crash on an island with these guys. Plus, when I check out co-workers' asses, more of them would actually be gay! (I know it is a stereotype but it's one of those true ones)

4. Gambler - Besides spending warm summer evenings on a train bound for nowhere, I'd potentially hook up in Vegas with the likes of

5. Mentor - Okay, I'm not really interested in mentoring - I just needed an excuse to include this photo.

***Dammit, if i can ever get the blogger program to work, I'll add the photo. Until then, just know it's funny! In the meantime, how about guesses about what the photo will be?***

Well, I'm off. One of my coworkers suggested yesterday that, since I don't have to worry about being fired anymore, I should start propositioning all the hot employees here. Dubbie will be in the handicapped bathroom stall (it's bigger than the others...better for "active" encounters) next week if you need to reach him!

-Dub

Free at last, free at last...

2006-10-24T14:20:00.000-05:00

So, the Dubbie has decided to break the chains that bind him to the evil villain known as employment. My company has proven itself incredibly full of poopoo (not PooPoo, cuz she is all good!). I've worked here for eight years and have been told that I do not have the "skill set" necessary to manage the department I helped build from two people to 40. So yesterday I sat down with my "golden boy" of a boss who apparently is on a collision course with vice presidency and asked him to provide this 8-year veteran of his department (he's been here for 2 or 3) with a plan for a career path within our organization. He could not provide anything in the immediate future so I handed him my resignation letter.

I have a lot of problems with insomnia and sleep issues...but last night, I slept like a baby. See any connection there? Hmmm...

Anyone with job ideas for Dub is welcome to chime in. I would prostitute if I thought I wouldn't have to turn five tricks just to do a load of laundry. I would wait tables (it is what actors do) but I can't walk down a hallway with a cup of coffee without making waves and spilling everywhere (right, Eric?). I can't strip at the men's club in my neighborhood because it is winter and nickels are COLD! Ah, why can't I live in the days when my zoftig elegance could bring me riches?? Goddamn you, Baywatch!!!!

Dubbie OUT! (of a job!)

Sometimes I just want to punch skinny people in the neck!

2006-10-11T08:03:00.000-05:00

Mornin' all!

Firstly, thanks to all the people who scrambled to answer the pop culture quiz yesterday...oh wait, it was just Craig!! The rest of you half-assed blog readers can just envy the amazing prize he has received...a free plug for his blog!! Go visit www.puntabulous.com. Visit it, but come back here. We'll wait....

Oh, welcome back! I know Craig's site is great, but did you really need to be gone that long?!?

Sorry, Dubbie is bitchy today. If you're a skinny person, now is a good time to close the window cuz I'm rallying all the fat kids of the world against you!

I listen to many podcasts throughout the day while I work. This morning I started the day with one of my favorites...well, previous favorites. The hosts of the show were discussing the virtues of a miniature candy bar, something the Dub certainly can appreciate. However, one of the hosts then went on to say "I don't think that any adult has any reason ever to eat a whole candy bar." What the fuck? Here's a reason for you, ya skinny little bitch, PEOPLE GET HUNGRY!!! Here's an idea for you: next time I'm eating a candy bar, try to stop me halway through it. It is a bit like giving a tiger a sirloin and then trying to get it out of his jaws of death after the first bite. You reach for half of my Whatchamacallit and I'll rip your whatchamacallit right off! Don't fuck with the fat kids, buddy -- especially when we're eating. We will mess you up!!

Dubbie needs a drink...and it's not even 8:30 yet.

Sigh...I'm off to get a candy bar.

A PooDub Pop Culture Quiz

2006-10-10T11:16:00.000-05:00

A little Tuesday fun from the PooDubs. Poo and I were chatting on the AIM this morning and brought up Oprah's best friend/non-lover, Gayle King. I wondered if any of our readers could pick her out of a black tv sidekick lineup.

Can you correctly identify:
1. Oprah's alleged "special" friend, Gayle
2. Oversexed neighbor at 227, Sondra
3. Nosy neighbor of the Evans' on Good Times, Willona Woods
4. Nell Carter's (God rest her beautiful soul) buddy, Addy
5. The Jefferson's neighbor and half the zebra, Helen Willis

A.

B.

C.

D.

E.

Let's see who can post the correct answers first! Maybe that reader will win a prize (probably not, but you never know!).

Have a great day!
Dub

Bad bloggers...

2006-10-06T09:01:00.000-05:00

Poo and Dub apologize for their lack of attention to their 5 fans (up from 3 before!!).

We each have excuses. Poo has been working her crazy ass off...12 hours a day, 7 days a week on a project for a company she doesn't like so much anymore. Dub has been eating, sleeping, and crapping theater for the last few days because his business partner is out of town so all the work falls onto him (plus he's acting in a show that opens tonight).

So think happy thoughts for Poopoo's project and Dubbie's opening (ewww...that sounds gross!). By the end of the weekend, they'll both look like this...

The PooDub loves you and will be back with their trademark craziness before you can say "Star Jones Reynolds is one hot bitch".

XOXOXO,
Dub, on behalf of both halves of the PooDub franchise

Fetishes are kinda funny...

2006-09-29T13:37:00.000-05:00

While innocently perusing the Craigslist Men4Men ads last night, I came across the following ad:

"Nice guy here with a bizarre fetish. I am interested in wamming, otherwise known as pies in the face. Don't ask me where it came from, maybe I watched one too many 3 Stooges short as a child, but I've been interested in it for a long time and it is a legitimate fetish. It can also encompass other food play, whipped cream, etc. I am looking for a guy, any age/race/etc. interested in trying this out, either trading pies in the face or simply shoving some in my face, followed by jerking off. The pies can be as simple as spraying some whipped cream on a plate or a real cream pie homemade or from a bakery. The type doesn't matter as much as the stickiness and messiness."

The Dub laughed for an hour about this because I kept thinking of new things that cracked me up about it.

1. If I bake a fucking pie, I'll be damned if I am wasting it on some Three Stooges fetish. I am eating some damned pie!

2. Ugh, I don't like the cleanup after REGULAR sex!

3. Remember that "Brady Bunch" episode where they introduced cousin Oliver and thought he was a jinx and they all end up in a giant pie fight at (I believe) a movie studio? Is that masturbatory material for this guy?

4. When he saw "American Pie" was he disgusted by the poor disgraced pie?

5. Are those tiny individual pies like illegal kiddy porn to him?

6. Are fetishes passed down from parents? If so, what is Thanksgiving like in this family?

Enjoy your weekend...I hope everyone has a nice big slice of pie and thinks of our friend "Wammy".

Hugs,
Dubbie

Fighting Mr. T will mess you up!!

2006-09-25T15:40:00.000-05:00

DOH!! I was watching a "Family Guy" episode last night that had a reference to Rocky as an old man and I thought "I should google Sly and see how he's looking these days."

The answer:

Like Bea Arthur's fraternal twin. Yikes!!

You may be doing it wrong...

2006-09-21T14:50:00.000-05:00

A coworker and I found this on a computer box from CDW and it made us laugh. As Ouiser says in "Steel Magnolias", "a dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste".

Apparently the Pope is a distant relative of Bush?

2006-09-18T07:19:00.000-05:00

Doesn't it sound like the kind of dumb-ass comment that GW would make?

"Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached."

Ah, the openness of the Catholic church! We homos love it!

But the Pope has now said he is "deeply sorry" for the reaction to his statements. Well, DUH!! Muslims are chanting for your death and burning your effigy! Of course you're sorry for that reaction. You poked a tiger with a stick...and you're surprised when he carries you offstage by the neck??

Dubbie is off to celebrate his status as a happy agnostic! Have a great Monday!

Dubbie Rebels!

2006-09-16T19:41:00.000-05:00

I think I'm a rebel. Yesterday I received two emails from friends warning me to avoid spinach because of an E. Coli outbreak. All it did was make me crave some spinach, so I'm sitting in front of the television watching "Sarah Silverman: Jesus is Magic" and eating some chips with spinach dip. If I die, know that I was enjoying a little comedy and some Diet Mountain Dew and wasn't entirely alone because a cat is cuddling with me. I'm happy and content. God bless the killer spinach dip. In lieu of flowers, send donations to my theater company.

Oh, my poor misguided gay brethren...

2006-09-15T08:31:00.000-05:00

So, look, I know I fail MISERABLY at any attempt to be cool. I've come to terms with that long ago. I'm a 36 year old single fat gay man. I'm a spinster, an old maid, whatever.

But I admit it! And I embrace it!

My youth is gone and I can't make a cute Puma zip-up and tight Seven for All Mankind jeans work. Hell, I never could, but that isn't my point. My beloved gay 40-somethings, YOU CAN'T MAKE IT WORK EITHER. No matter how much you spend on jeans, you can't buy back your twink-dom. It is over. Repeat after me...I am not 25 and it is okay to leave the "Young Men's" department.

This is why Dubbie can't find a man...all the homos of a certain age are spending their time chasing the young'uns.

I don't think you understand all the good things that a 36 year old single fat gay man can offer you...

1. A sense of humor influenced by The Simpsons rather than Spongebob.

2. Um, he's fat...he can probably cook! (To my friends: SHUT UP...maybe someone will believe it!!)

3. You don't have to spend 30 hours a week at the gym to keep up with him at Roscoe's. (he doesn't even LIKE Roscoe's!)

4. You can shop at Kohl's instead of Abercrombie & Bitch...he doesn't care what you spent on your pants!

Think about it, gentlemen. When that boy behind the counter at Starbucks called you "Sir", you officially didn't have a chance anymore.

This has been another "Please Date Me" PSA.

-Dubbie

Dubbie's Movie Review Corner

2006-09-12T15:25:00.000-05:00

DROP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO SEE THIS RIGHT NOW!!!!

And, for God's sake, avoid this hideous piece of crap!

Apparently the editor got bored with the film (totally understandable!) and just said "Fuck it, just leave it at over 2 hours!" Bob Hoskins is really brilliant, Lois Smith is very interesting, and Diane Lane is okay (though her "put on" 40's starlet affectation gets old, especially in more intimate scenes when she could have let her guard down a bit). Pretty much everyone else sucked. I am a big Adrien Brody fan and was very disappointed in this.

Instead of seeing HOLLYWOODLAND, go see LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE twice!! Brilliant and hilarious. HOLLYWOODLAND is neither!

Thus concludes Dubbie's Movie Review Corner. I'm sure Lisa will have comments because she didn't hate the movie as much as I did.

- Dub Ebert

This seems appropriate today...

2006-09-11T14:23:00.000-05:00

Pack my quiver and bow!

2006-09-11T12:19:00.000-05:00

It's a musical theatre reference...you'd understand if you were cultured.

And I proved my cultural prowess this weekend by attending the 119th annual Sandwich Fair. The Sandwich Fair is not a place to get a good hoagie, but rather the largest county fair in the state of Illinois (and happens to be held in the town Dub grew up in!!).

I haven't been to the fair in a couple years so I thought I'd venture out with my mom to see some livestock and enjoy some food on sticks! I encountered some interesting sights and luckily had my camera with me...

Mom and I decided that we couldn't pass up the booth offering chocolate-covered strawberries. We shelled out our $4 each and rather just a bowl of chocolatey and fruity goodness, we got THIS!! VULGAR BUT DELICIOUS!!!

We then meandered through some "Commercial Display" buildings. That there is some fancy-talk fer "people trying to sell shit". I'm not entirely sure what they were selling here, but I was intrigued immediately!!

After wandering around for a couple hours, we needed a break and were thrilled to find yet another reason to LOVE CHEESE (like we needed another reason!)...

It was a nice day and some quality time with the mom, which we don't have as much time for these days.

So, Saturday was a nice day. Stay tuned for my blog about Sunday and the travesty that was "Hollywoodland"!

Happy Monday.
Dubbie

It's gonna be...

2006-09-08T08:31:00.000-05:00

...the BEST...OSCAR PARTY...EVER!!!!!!!

Dub loves Ellen...and he hosts a mighty glittery and gay Oscar party. This year...GAYEST EVER!!!!!!!

Dubbie Mourns...

2006-09-04T22:22:00.000-05:00

It was sad news indeed this weekend that Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter, passed away. He will killed by a stingray who stung him in the chest while filming a special in Queensland, Australia. He and his wife Terri hosted the program The Crocodile Hunter on Animal Planet and ran The Australia Zoo. He was a great environmentalist.

Dubbie will greatly miss Steve! I've been addicted to his show since I first saw it on Animal Planet. His energy and passion for all animals were inspiring and heartwarming. One of the most memorable moments of the show for me was one about whales that had run ashore and were not able to be saved. He cried while telling his audience that there was nothing he or Terri could do for them. He was a pretty amazing guy. He'll be missed and Dub's heart goes out to Terri and their kids.

Goodbye Steve!

Where the hell have you been?

2006-08-31T10:05:00.000-05:00

Loyal Readers,

The Poopoo and I sincerely apologize for our absence. We love our 2 or 3 readers very much and hate that we've upset you with our delay in posting.

But we do have great excuses!

First we were very busy preparing to interview celebrities on the red carpet last weekend. It is not easy memorizing all those names and credits. I couldn't just talk to Charlie Sheen about "Lucas" now, could I? And Poo didn't know any of Helen Mirren's credits past "Teaching Mrs. Tingle" so we had some work to do. Not to mention the work that the stylists had to do to make us look THIS GOOD!!!

God, we're hot. Though from looking at this photo, Poo, it may be time for me to get back in to see the plastic surgeon! You told me I looked fine! Lying bitch.

I can't remember a lot about the ceremony. I had taken a few Xanax to calm my stage fright and the last thing I remember is Melissa Gilbert winning Best Supporting Actress in a Drama for "Little House on the Prairie"...that kid is destined to be a star. Who was that host, anyway? Was that little Ronnie Howard all growed up?? He was funny...I laughed 'til I peed a little.

Well, I have to run. I am on hold for Simon Cowell right now. I'd been in talks to judge "Celebrity Duets" and that evil bitch Marie Osmond stole my spot. I should be the one sitting next to the completely incoherent Little Richard giving singing advice to the likes of Lucy Lawless, Cheech Marin, and Lea Thompson. Jai Rodriguez, see me in my dressing room! Grrrrr.

I'm off to berate Simon and try to get my job back!

Cheers,
Dubbie

What's next for our poor unfortunate...

2006-08-16T15:07:00.000-05:00

...Pez dispenser, Star Jones!

Now apparently she is too low even to hawk cheap shoes! Payless (my new favorite shoe store) gave the old bitch the heave-ho, a much easier task now that she's lost all that weight!

I don't know what Big Gay Al (Reynolds) does for a living but I hope he can support her in her now-total unemployment...depression is a terrible thing. I see a big old binge coming. Girlfriend's gonna run up a huge tab at the 7-11! I only hope that we get this back again...

Happy Hump Day!
Dubbie

I may be even gayer now

2006-08-14T11:27:00.000-05:00

This is Dub (cuz Poo's not gay, no matter how hard I've tried to get her to be a lesbian).

Saturday night at 11, my phone rang and one of my straight female friends said "Why haven't we seen 'Another Gay Movie' yet?" I answered that I didn't realize she wanted to see it, but this friend is frequently saying things like "I love the gays!" so I suppose I should have assumed that she'd be interested. Well, we went to the only place in Chicago that was playing the movie (the gayest cinema in all the land!) and sat among the biggest group of 'mos since Pridefest and watched this flick. It was actually a lot of fun, but here are my warnings:

1. If the zipper scene in "Something About Mary" made you squeamish, you may want to avoid the graphic vacuum pump scene.

2. If the thought of Richard Hatch (of Survivor fame) fully nude without the digital editting makes you throw up a little in your mouth, you'll fully hurl (yep, all his bits and pieces are on full display here!!).

3. If you are an animal-rights activist, the scene with the gerbil (oh yes, it is true!) may be a bit disturbing to you.

The movie is fun and silly and there are a lot of cute references to other goofy teen comedies. And Graham Norton is damn funny in it!!

That's all for now.
Dub

PooPoo is Here

2006-08-10T09:31:00.000-05:00

Hi Dubbie-
Sorry I have been MIA. My days at work have been very long and busy. And, don't forget my long commutes on the EL - about 50 minutes to travel about 6 miles... worst. service. ever! Soooo, by the time I get home I don't want to just sit in front of my computer. But, I manage to squeeze in some fun. Over the weekend, I was able to hang out at the beach with some of my girlfriends. I'm sorry you couldn't join us, we had a blast!

smooches-
Poo

I would SO make fun of this...

2006-08-09T15:52:00.000-05:00

...if I wasn't already planning to set my DVR!! But oh, Susan, how you've sold out...

http://www.playbill.com/news/article/101303.html

Poo, we should go to auditions!!!!!

A Letter To My Ex!

2006-07-31T11:19:00.000-05:00

Dear "Hot Guy in Suit Who Rides My Bus and Train":

We're through! Yes, you're lovely and wear very expensive suits and really nice shoes, but today was the final straw!

Do you realize that today is the THIRD time you've jumped onto the train KNOWING that I am a few feet behind you on the stairs and let the train doors close? Normally, I would curse you a bit and then think of your cute butt bounding up the steps two at a time and forget I was angry, but NOT THIS TIME, BUSTER!! It was already over 80 degrees and humid as hell this morning and you didn't have the common decency to hold the door for 15 seconds! I hope you saw my dirty look and heard what I called you! (Or at least read my lips...that's right, I said it!)

I stood out there in the humidity after running up the steps to try to get into the a/c for another ten minutes.

Bitch, you'd better be prepared for quite the snubbing tomorrow morning on the bus. No "God, I wish you'd leave your wife and do me" grin for you tomorrow.

Sincerely,
A very sweaty Dub

Its Alive!!!!

2006-07-27T15:58:00.000-05:00

The other day Dubbie bought new sandals at the Nordstrom Rack. I left them in the bag on my dining room table. When I went to get my new shoes, the bag was moving across the table! Had I bought shoes that already had feet in them?!?!? Were my ghosts moving them?!?! (I live in a haunted apartment, but that's a story for another time) I carefully sneaked over and this is what I found!

I'll say this for her, the girl's got taste!

I'm off to drink at my company's annual "Booze Cruise" on Lake Michigan. I'm sure I'll have stories and photos soon!!!

-Dub

Dubbie's Dream Has Come True...

2006-07-26T11:22:00.000-05:00

My fantasy man, Lance Bass has come out of the closet! We are going to be so happy now. He will be on the next cover of People, that most reliable of news sources, proclaiming his fondness for all things homosexual and, I can only assume, his love for me.

Am I right, Lance, honey?

If I can't have the Punty, I'm gettin' me another celebrity! ;-)

- An ever-so-happy Dub

The Wait is Over

2006-07-24T22:50:00.000-05:00

Hey all.

I apologize for the delay in blogging. FOr those of you who don't know, The Dub is a very famous theater director and opened a show last weekend, so he's been way too busy to blog. Well, most of that is true...all except the famous part.

So, the date happened. And it was a bit disappointing. The guy was nice and all, but I asked simply for honesty from him and he kinda misrepresented his appearance...ah, the joys of internet dating. See, Dub is what the gay folk call a "bear", which means I'm gay but I don't do the gym and I don't wax my chest...the point is that a bigger guy is not a problem with me. Be chubby/chunky/beefy/fat whatever you want to call it, but be honest about it. Don't tell me that you weigh 220 when you quite obviously, upon sight, do not. I weigh more than that, so why lie to another fat guy? If he'd been honest with me, I'd have been fine. But he wasn't, so I feel a little annoyed. If someone would lie to you about their looks just a couple days before you're going to see him in person, what else will he be dishonest about? Why do people have to lie? It makes Dub sad. I just want to meet someone honest and nice...is that so much to ask?

Bottom line...still chatting with the guy but not sure what is going to happen, if anything. Another big issue with me: he complained constantly about having to walk places. Dubbie's a chubby, but he walks a LOT and enjoys it. You don't have to be an athletic guy to hang out with me, but I prefer someone who is at least active.

Ah well. I guess I'm still single. Punty? :-)

I'll blog with some of my Gay Games photos later. I'm tired and I'm grumpy and I'm blah. If you were looking for humor, I guess you went to the wrong blog today. Sorry. Poo? Maybe you can be funny.

Dub

Now come on!

2006-07-14T14:25:00.000-05:00

Dubbie has a long list of pet peeves, but one of his fashion pet peeves are undershirt sleeves that are longer than the shirts they are under. You know the look I mean! This morning on the train, I witnessed something even worse. There was a guy on the train wearing boxer briefs that were easily two inches longer than the shorts he was wearing over the top. Come on! It looked ridiculous. These weren't bike shorts, they were gray cotton boxer briefs. Oy!

So, there is excitement in Chi-town as the Gay Games kick off tomorrow night! I was out for lunch in the Loop today doing some shopping and there are homos everywhere. Dubbie is in heaven!! And he is very excited to be attending the opening ceremony of the Gay Games tomorrow night (with a date even!!!). I'll take photos (though we are actually sitting ABOVE the nosebleed seats...jets will probably block our view from time to time) and blog my ass off on Sunday or Monday about it.

Have a great weekend everyone (okay, by everyone, I mean Lisa, Amanda, Anne, and Poo. I don't think anyone else reads us!)

Dubbie loves you! MWAH!

Sport and Dance Collide!

2006-07-11T09:27:00.000-05:00

The Dubbie Dating Saga Continues...

2006-07-11T09:09:00.000-05:00

Who else but Da Dub gets blown off (not in the good way!) and then gets the message that his date has strep throat for the reschedule?? He actually felt really bad about it and asked if I'd like to come over and watch a movie or something so that we can meet, but I prefer to not catch the plague so I politely declined. We will be rescheduling yet again...more to come in the continuing saga of the Great Undatable Dubbie.

Dubbie gets an excuse...

2006-07-09T20:06:00.000-05:00

...and gives the stander-upper a second chance.

So, he says that he was hung up at a friend's house in the burbs and didn't have my number with him. He was very apologetic and offered to take me out tomorrow night to make up for it. So, I'm giving him another chance.

New conclusion: MOST gay men are pricks. The jury's still out on this one. I'll let you know tomorrow night!

Dub

Dubbie Gets Stood Up

2006-07-08T20:40:00.000-05:00

:-(

Dub was very excited that he thought he'd met a decent guy who wasn't looking for a one-night stand and actually wanted to go on a date for dinner and to see a play. He made the mistake of telling some of his friends about it and now has been stood up and looks like a giant fucking loser. Again! No phone call, no email, no text message...just said "I'll talk to you between 4 and 5" and then nothing.

Gay men are such fucking pricks. Why is that?

Dubbie is depressed tonight. Blech!

TGIF!!!

2006-07-07T09:00:00.000-05:00

I know that having Tuesday off should have been refreshing, but it just made Wednesday feel like a new Monday.

I have promised myself that I will not become one of those bloggers who talks about his cats like an old homo with nothing else in her life (tho I gotta tell you, I don't have much more than them pussies!), but I have to share this story. I have a gorgeous (and monstrous) cat named Tootie (named after "Facts of Life" and her ridiculous flatulence). I am also currently foster-parenting a friend's adorable cat while she relocates to a new home. Tootie has always been pretty mellow as a single cat, but the additional feline has inspired some craziness in my household. I've come home to things in the past such as a rug in a different room than it was intended for, broken candles on the floor, rearranged knick-knacks in a shelf, and kitty vomit in places you really don't want it (bed, clean folded laundry, etc). Last night, I was out with friends celebrating my best friend Lisa's 34th birthday (girlfriend's gettin' OOOOOOOLLLLLLLDDDDDDD!!!). I got home a little before 10pm to find EVERYTHING off of my dining room table on the floor and two of my dining room chairs on their sides. After doing the initial panicky "have I been robbed?" run thru the apartment, I realize that all the other rooms of the apartment are in tact (with the exception of a tshirt that I left on the floor of my bedroom now being in the doorway of another room). So...my conclusion: either someone broke into my apartment to have some mad passionate love on my dining room table (at least somebody's getting something in that place!!) or Tootie and Isabelle had a doozy of a party. Nothing was broken or damaged, but it was a crazy disaster. I thought about taking photos, but then anyone who reads this will know what a slob I am. And it seemed silly to vaccuum a room so that I could take a photo of how messy it is.

I should probably do some work, I guess. Blech. Have a good weekend, Poo and all.

MMMMMWWWWAAAAAHHHHH!
Dub

Poppies will make them sleep...

2006-07-06T11:17:00.000-05:00

Poo, that's a reference from a movie I like called "Wizard of Oz"...perhaps you've heard of it.

I just wanted to apologize to all our fans (okay, well....to Lisa) for not having time to blog. Poo and Dub went to brunch together the other day and we found these while we were out walking...

We figured it would be fine to pick mushrooms that we found in the city in some stranger's yard and make homemade pizzas. Not a good idea...we've been sleeping since the 4th. I'm actually still asleep...not sure how this is getting posted. Creepy...

- Dubs

Dubbie's Wildlife Adventure

2006-07-03T21:38:00.000-05:00

I got away from the big bad windy city this past weekend and visited my parents. They live downstate in a very small town in the middle of acres of wooded land. There are always tons of squirrels and rabbits and wildlife around their yard, even wild turkeys live in their backyard.

This weekend was especially Animal Planet. As mom and I returned from a trip into town, we noticed at the end of her lane that there was something standing just outside the woods. Three baby deer stood there staring as we drove up...Bambi triplets (not the porn kind) with spots and all. They stood there for a full minute staring at us before retreating just into the woods where we could still see them. They stood there watching us and finally got curious again and all came back out of the woods and got within about 10 feet of the car before deciding to dart back into the woods.

The same night, we had just finished watching a movie and my mom had gone to bed. My stepdad and I were watching tv and chatting when we heard something outside. We went to the window and there were three raccoons playing on the deck. A mother and two babies. We decided to try to walk out and see what would happen. Mom raccoon freaked out a little and ran into the woods, but the babies were unphased. Even after I went to get my camera and started taking photos with flash, they still played around us...less than 5 feet away from us. One ended up on a nearby tree and the other perched on a bird feeder and helped himself to an ear of corn that was there. Since I knew it'd be unbelievable, I thought I'd post some photos of the crazy encounter...

This is the first one, perching on his little bird feeder and helping himself to the ear of corn. By the time he left, the cob was nekkid.

While we weren't dumb enough to attempt to touch the adorable little rabies machines, my stepdad decided he wanted to see if it would run if touched, so he was petting it with a broomstick. The beast just sat there and continued to eat his feast of corn on the cob.

"Hey, what about me? My sibling is much more outgoing, but I'm cute over here on the tree too, ya know!"

My parents' beagle, Daisy, just wanted a little taste, as you can see. She was ready for a fight!

As you can see, Dubbie had quite an adventure in the woods outside of Danville, Illinois. He wishes he'd had his camera handy when he saw the baby deer. No such luck.

Stay tuned. I'm sure we'll have more exciting things to tell you about soon. Maybe even Poo will share something fun. She is quite funny...she's just keeping a low profile because of that whole Witness Protection thing I'm not supposed to talk about. Oh crap!

Hugs from the Dubster.

This is too good to keep to myself...

2006-07-03T13:39:00.000-05:00

So, later tonight I will post the story of my raccoon encounter from the weekend (complete with photos!!), but I had to share this now. My friend Amanda (visit her awesome blog at http://yupsicle.typepad.com/) sent me this link today. Its pretty amazing!!!

http://cityrag.blogs.com/main/2006/01/the_transformat.html

I knew it all along!!! Something was always fishy about that one...it was only a matter of time before she shed her human host.

Hugs,
Dub (who else would it be? Oh snap! That's right, he said it!)

You know you're crap when...

2006-06-29T23:04:00.000-05:00

...Debbie Matenopoulis is dissing you!! That is about as low as you can go.

Apparently Big Gay Al's pez dispenser wife (her head is freakin' huge...how does she stay upright?) hurt Deb's feelings when she was canned from "The View" because she never called. Now Debbie knows how Dubbie feels after a first date.

I read another report today that Ms. "Can I keep my Payless gig?" called Barbara Walters a hypocrite in an interview with New York Daily News. Brilliant career move, bobblehead!

Dub is off to bed, Poo. Hanging at my mom's in the middle of the woods for a long weekend out of the big city. We just finished watching the remake of "When a Stranger Calls". "The call is coming from inside the house." It is just as bad as you'd have expected. Mom's choice. I always end up watching shit when I'm here. Of course, I picked up "Transamerica" and she said "Oh, your stepdad wouldn't like that." I wanted to put it in, not tell him what it was about, and see how long it took him to say "What the fuck is this?" Can you imagine his reaction? :-)

On that note, I'm off to bed. Gotta rest up for a shopping trip to the mall with Mom tomorrow! Hooray! Way better than working!

Hugs,
Dubbie

Poo and Dub LOVE Punty

2006-06-28T14:19:00.000-05:00

Everyone should love the Punty. Poo and Dub love Puntabulous very much. He is funny as hell. Plus, Dub has a big ole crush on him!!

Check him out: http://www.puntabulous.com

We love you, Punty (call me!!!!).

Dub

Um, there are FAR bigger issues in this world than a Pride Parade update!!

2006-06-27T22:51:00.000-05:00

NEW YORK - The gloves are off for the women on "The View." Creator Barbara Walters said she was "betrayed" by Star Jones Reynolds' surprise on-air announcement of her exit from the daytime talk show Tuesday. Reynolds said in a magazine interview she felt she was fired.

Either way, the "help wanted" sign is up again at the show, months after it was announced that Rosie O'Donnell was replacing Meredith Vieira as a cast member in the fall.

Reynolds' exit had been rumored for months, intensifying Tuesday after reports on "Access Hollywood" and in the New York tabloids that an announcement would be coming soon.

Still, Walters said she was taken by complete surprise when Reynolds announced her departure after the first commercial break on Tuesday. The announcement had been planned for Thursday, she said.

"I love Star and I was trying to do everything I possibly could _ up until this morning when I was betrayed _ to protect her," Walters told The Associated Press.

Walters also said she wasn't aware until she got off the air of Reynolds' People magazine interview. Reynolds, one of the original cast members when the show started nine years ago, said: "I feel like I was fired."

That seems to be the case. Walters said ABC network chiefs had decided last fall not to renew Reynolds' contract because its research showed that Reynolds' dramatic weight loss and 2004 wedding to banker Al Reynolds had turned viewers off. Reynolds had been criticized for a Web site that promoted companies that donated items for the wedding party's gift bags.

"We tried to talk them out of it," Walters said, "and we tried to give Star time to redeem herself in the eyes of the audience, and the research just kept getting worse."

Reynolds' spokesman, Brad Zeifman, said she would not comment beyond a prepared statement that did not address these issues.

Walters said Reynolds had known for several months that she would not be coming back, before Vieira's announcement in April that she was leaving.

"I would have loved for Star to have left and not said `I was fired,' and not make it look like the program was somehow being cruel to her," she said.

O'Donnell's hiring had nothing to do with the decision, she said. That April announcement had led to widespread speculation over whether O'Donnell and Reynolds could co-exist. O'Donnell had made several caustic remarks about Reynolds, saying that it was dishonest for her to talk about losing more than 100 pounds through diet and exercise without talking about gastric bypass surgery.

On the show Tuesday, Reynolds told the audience that "The View" had decided to move in a new direction.

"I'm not sure what the future holds," she said. "But I'm absolutely sure who holds the future."

Comic Joy Behar looked like she was shocked.

"Who am I going to fight with?" Behar said.

Reynolds replied: "Something tells me you will have somebody to fight with."

Blog it Mister

2006-06-27T12:21:00.000-05:00

That last blog was a bit of a downer. So, today I expect a fun blog complete with pictures about the parade day and the morning after. Don't let me down.

Poo

Thank God for Maury Povich!

2006-06-27T11:55:00.000-05:00

Maury takes on all of the important topics.

This girl is freakin' crazy!!!!

Dub

I wonder if I'll be proud...

2006-06-23T13:41:00.000-05:00

This Sunday is the Gay Pride Parade here in Chicago. Dub will be partying down with the finest gays he's got. One friend is having a pre-party with some sangria and another friend is having a post-party bbq. The Dub has even taken the day off on Monday to recover from said sangria.

The parade is a bittersweet thing for me. I don't mean to get all deep and depressing on y'all, but sometimes I find it hard to be proud of some of the things I see at Pride. I'm not a gym-toned clubbing boi who shakes his naked bon-bon on Halsted Street for all the spectators to enjoy. Two years ago I took my mom to the parade and she was practically trampled by the ridiculous drunks around us who just wanted to get more plastic beads on strings than she got.

I will try my best to remain positive and try to locate that man of my dreams (I met a guy at Pride once who I dated a few times and then he disappeared...I saw him at a bar a few months after he totally blew me off, so I am sorry to say that he didn't meet with a terrible tragedy). I will try to overlook the bitchiness of the whole event. I will try to be proud of the boys in leather jockstraps and the girls with electrical tape covering their nipples. I attempt to not leave the event more depressed than when I arrive.

Sangria don't let me down!!!

Happy Pride...Have you hugged a gay person today??
Dubbie

PS...Love you Poo! Come Pride with me!! (Haven't I made it sound fun?)

Hooray for Poo

2006-06-19T10:46:00.000-05:00

Howdy Poo!

So exciting to see your thought-provoking post! I think you need to stop working so much and blog for us. Your fans need you!! Jobs come and go, Dub is forever. Or is it diamonds that are forever. Who remembers?

A couple good things for today.

Lisa sent me this link to Shakespearean insults. I realize you are good at insults on your own, but these are beautiful. Check it out at http://www.pangloss.com/seidel/Shaker/index.html.

Also, here is a link to that Animal Planet reality show that we talked about at brunch yesterday, Meerkat Manor: http://animal.discovery.com/fansites/meerkat/meerkat.html?clik=netmain_feat1. I have still only watched one episode but at the end baby meerkats were laying in the sun dying. It could be a new addiction. Perhaps not as funny as Showdog Moms and Dads, but still mesmerizing.

"Sometimes...he bite me...on the vagina." Oh, how I miss Showdog Moms and Dads!!!!!!!

Have a good day, Poo.

Dubby

PooDub

2006-06-19T10:39:00.000-05:00

PooDub

Hi Dub, I'm here.

Dumb people make Dub giggle...

2006-06-18T15:20:00.000-05:00

Introducing....us!

2006-06-17T22:14:00.000-05:00

Hi All!

Welcome to the very first installment of PooDub! We will attempt to be both informative and entertaining, but rarely succeed at either.

We live in Chicago. Not together...ew!

Dub is a sassy mid-30's single gay male with a fetish for all things theatrical.

Poo is...well, she is far too complex to describe in one sentence in a blog! You'll see!

Our lives, conversations, and observations are too damn funny not to be shared by all the world (or at least the three or four folks who may find this blog).

- Poo and Dub