Happy Hallmark Day!

A special thanks from Dub to the fine folks at Hallmark for creating a day that reminds us single folk that we are loveless and alone. We really appreciate that.

Dub is hitting Halsted (the gayest street in Chicago) tonight and bringing home the first guy who is nice to him...don't worry, there are no nice guys on Halsted. I'll stumble home to sleep with the cats when the bars close down.

If you're one of the lucky folks who is actually able to celebrate Valentines Day with someone whose first name you'll remember in the morning, have a great day. For the rest of us, let's make a pledge to punch or kick any red thing we see today.

At least I'm not bitter!

Love,
Dubbie

A Gay Man Blogs the Super Bowl - Second Half

Well, game is back. Sigh. It is really raining hard now. More slippery balls.

If nothing else, this is solidifying my indifference toward sports.

It is currently 2 degrees below zero in Chicago...without the wind chill! I am so glad I opted to stay in and blog this for you guys instead of going to one of those Super Bowl parties I was invited to. Ok, I wasn't invited to any. But I wouldn't have left the apartment anyway!! The cats are back now that Prince is gone and we're cuddling on the couch under a Wizard of Oz blanket...nothing says FOOTBALL like that! Plus I'm in my pajamas...not again, but STILL. I put jeans on over my flannel pj pants to go downstairs to the convenience store...that is as ambitious as I got today.

Three more points for the Colts. Crap!

Commercial for a new Disney film that appears to feature Joan Cusack! Hooray!! Love her!

Um, the Bears, much as I would like them to win, seem to be playing like crap.

Ugh, the Revlon coloring commercial with Cheryl Crow is terrible. Her gay hairdresser is so jealous of the Revlon box of coloring that he does perhaps the gayest hair-flip ever shown during a Super Bowl game!

The lions talking about carne asada and Ricardo Montalban is funny. Any references to Ricardo are usually funny.

Brooke Shields...what has happened to you? You're friends with Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes...and now doing a guest stint on Two and a Half Men? How low you have fallen!

Ok, the Colts almost scored again. This is getting out of hand. I didn't invest nearly three hours to football on a freakin' Sunday to watch the Bears LOSE!!! What the hell is the point? And I just know that if I turn the game off to watch figure skating on ESPN (it really is on!) or repeats of Grease: You're the One That I Want or Beaches on Oxygen, I'll miss some huge comeback that involves a striptease by Urlacher and Grossman. I can't risk that.

Colts just scored a field goal. Now the score is 22-14. COME ON!!!

Um, Emerald Nuts will keep Robert Goulet from messing up your office in the afternoon? That's kinda funny.

I'm not sure how many more Grammy commercials I can take!

Okay, I predict that the comeback approaches here for our Bears. See, I can call them "our" Bears because I live in Chicago and I've been to Soldiers' Field. Of course, it was for the opening ceremony of the Gay Games, but I've been there!!!

No one should ever choose Nationwide. Anyone who would pay Federline to do their commercial deserves to go out of business!

The Bud Light commercial with the hitchhikers with the axe and the chainsaw is funny!

Ok, Bears have the ball and announcers are blah, blah, blahing about what they need to do now. I vote for ... um ... some scoring, perhaps? Oh, they got a first down...that's a good thing if I remember the basics of football correctly! And Grossman throws a lovely pass that falls right onto the ground nowhere near any other player on the field.

The most exciting thing that has happened in the last two minutes is that I spilled a little bit of diet root beer on my shirt, cursed loudly, and the cats are gone again.

Robbie Gould for a field goal...and it's good!!!! 22-17!!! The start of the comeback.

All the uniforms are sooo wet and clinging. I think I saw this porno once. Cuz if you're stuff in the rain, white pants are the way to go!!

Ok...be right back. Have a cat to kill!!!!!!!!

Luckily there was some kind of challenge to a call because the cats came back and Isabelle promptly decided to vomit on the couch. I love this cat and she is really lucky because she can be a giant pain in the ass.

Commercials again...none of them impressive enough to write about. Sigh.

15 minutes left in the game...Colts in the lead 22-17 and they have possession of the ball.

Bored.

Bored.

FYI...I have no new email and there are no google images of Grossman shirtless. Also, it is impossible to find the old photo of Boomer Esiason when he did the underwear ad in the early 90s/late 80s.

DAMNED COLTS SCORE AGAIN!!!!!!!!!! 11 point lead now! 12 after the extra point. COME ON, BEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!

With 10 minutes left, the Colts intercept a pass that should have been a first down. This kinda sucks. Sigh, remember how exciting it was when the Bears had the lead in the first minute of the game?

Old men can canoe now...thanks to Flomax...which helps you to not have to pee as often, as long as you don't have prostate cancer.

This CBS sitcom with Patrick Warburton, David Spade, and some pretty boy looks painfully unfunny.

Not sure how I feel about this Silence of the Lambs prequel. I bought the book and like a week later the film was announced. I haven't even started the book yet. Did Thomas Harris actually write a novel or just a novelization of his screenplay for the film? Not sure what to think.

Obviously, I am bored with football.

Just about 5 minutes left of the game.

Minute and a half left. It is not looking good for our hometown Bears. And Brian is going to be in such a bad mood when he comes home tonight!! I'm dreading his grumpiness!!

Game over...Bears lose. That's a shame...oh well. Four hours dedicated to this game. Four hours I'll never get back.

Don't expect more football blogs unless them come from Poo!

Happy end of the weekend.
Dub

A Gay Man Blogs the Super Bowl - Half-Time

Boring...they are just talking about football now. We just watched two hours of football...do we really need to revisit it all?!?!

Remember when Boomer Esiason was really hot? He is still cutish, but used to be way hot...he did a hot underwear ad once. I googled it, but no luck. :-(

Um, where is Prince? I think it would be more fun if Prince sang an update of the first half of play. :-) Oh, I crack myself up.

Until Prince is on, I'm off to search for Boomer Esiason underwear pictures!

DEARLY BELOVED, WE ARE GATHERED HERE TODAY TO GET THROUGH THIS THING CALLED LIFE!!!!!

Let's go crazy?!?!? AWESOME!!!! The man is a lunatic, but a genius!!

The cats just got scared of the high-pitched OOOOOO-WEEEEE scream and ran out of the room! :-)

How psyched must that marching band be to be accompanying Prince??

Oh, Purple Rain...I love this song! Cool lighting effect with the big shadow of him playing the guitar.

Oh yes, I am singing along with the crowd in my living room!

Um, after two hours of football, I get ten minutes of Prince! I feel robbed!

After the Super Bowl CBS will present a very special crime drama with Mandy Patinkin, Shamar Moore, and Greg from Dharma and Greg. Seriously? That's the best they've got to keep an audience after the freakin' Super Bowl???

Is anyone else really tired of the Who Stole the Show bullshit?

Ok...game's gonna start again.

A Gay Man Blogs the Super Bowl - First Half

Um, Dubbie is NOT a sports person. Well, I like figure skating, does that count? But I live in Chicago so this seems like a big deal to write about all this as it happens.

Ok, my first complaint. I needed some sour cream for my chili I made and some more Diet Coke, so I ran downstairs to the convenience store to get these Super Bowl essentials right after the coin toss. I walk out the door of the store to about 25 cars honking...Yeah, I left home for less than five minutes and missed the first touchdown. Oy!!

My God, Urlacher is hot! If you're reading this and you're in the closet, I am good at keeping secrets...oh, the game is still on.

Dammit...Colts score! Now, if I understand this game correctly, someone should have stopped that from happening.

Oops...the ball was wet and the snap to the guy who holds the ball for the kicker (I'm sure that there is a name for what he does) dropped it...I bet it just got really awkwardly quiet at your parents' Super Bowl party.

Hey, Billy Joel did a nice job with the anthem, huh? I love him. Can't wait to see Prince.

Why aren't these commercials better? Isn't it like $9,000,000,000 for a 30 second spot? You can do better than that!!

More ball dropping and the Colts recover the ball...oh shit, and again, now the Bears have it back!! Hooray Urlacher (see you later, honey!)!!! These football players are klutzy!! We figure skating fans are not used to this.

Oh, Bears are close to scoring again. Ok, I'm starting to actually get into this! I was just yelling at the tv...at some guy with a 20 on his back...GO!! Was someone named Booger McFarlan? I swear that is what the announcer just said.

SCORE!!!! By Muhammad!! He does a fun little dance with the ball, slams his chest into another guy, who then does an awkward celebration dance of his own...but the grass is wet and he nearly falls. Smooth.

Oh, the commercials just got good...some movie called "Pride" with a bunch of swimmers in tiny speedos. Hooray for Super Bowl commercials!!! Um, "Survivor" is still on??? What the hell?? That show sucks. I never watch CBS...I don't think they have a good show anymore, do they?

Game's back. 14-6 and more commercials.

Chevy has a bunch of people singing Chevy songs. I've not really recognized any of the folks singing...but it was cute. Oh, Carlos Mencia teaching ESL in a Bud Light commercial.

HA!!! Dave Letterman cuddling on the sofa with Letterman...tee hee...funny Letterman commercial. That's good...he lost a lot of funny over the years.

Another dropped ball. If the rain is such an issue for playing this, maybe they should play inside. There is a lot of butt-patting going on there on the sidelines...love it!

Oh, there is some arguing over a play here. Drama...now a homo feels welcome. Oh Christ, now the Bears fumbled again and the Colts recovered the ball. A bunch of guys dogpiled onto Grossman...FUN! I'm going to totally sign up for a gay football league now! (Of course I'm not...not even for dogpiles)

While they argued over another penalty, I did some googling for shirtless Brian Urlacher...no locker room shots, but had some success!!




Uh oh, BEARS DOWN!!! There appear to be some injuries. Is this the fault of the rain as well? Damn you, mother nature!!! Ok, the injured Bears are up now. The injured players were neither Urlacher nor Grossman, so I have no idea who they are.

45 seconds left in the first quarter. Football is slow-moving. That 20 minute quarter took over an hour. No wonder "The Simpsons" are always being pre-empted.

Oh, Patrick Warburton is in the crowd! He's hot!! Sitting next to David Spade makes him even sexier.

Still 14-6. First quarter finally over! GO BEARS!!!

GoDaddy.com? Apparently their marketing department is made up of slutty whores.

The Coke Side of Life. Give a little love and it all comes back to you. Cute commercial with the animated guy doing good deeds aplenty. Karma is crap...no matter much good stuff I do, nothing good happens to me.

How much must it suck to make it to the Super Bowl and injure your knee in the first quarter and not get to play in the rest of the game? PooDub's sympathies to that guy...still don't know his name...again, he's not Urlacher.

The Budweiser commercial with the sad dog getting splashed with mud and being mistaken for a dalmation.

You too can vote for who gets the fine privilege of singing with Justin Timberlake...cbs.com if you care. I don't.

Um, I need to pay better attention...the score changed and I don't know how. It is 14-9 now. I blame the announcers...shouldn't they get really excited when something good happens so that I know to pay attention?? Slackers.

HOORAY FOR THE DORITOS COMMERCIAL I VOTED FOR!!!!! My friend Jennifer's friend plays the grocery clerk and she is hilarious!!!!!!

Um, the Chevy commercial with tons of shirtless guys was surprisingly unexciting. Meh.

To my knowledge, no one has scored or dropped anything in a while. Its a little bit dull. Peyton Manning's footwork in the pocket has improved a lot this year. Okay, I am just quoting the announcer because I don't know what else to say about this. Oh, Urlacher tackled someone!!! ME NEXT!!!!

Colts are on the one yard line now. Shit! Touchdown for the Colts. They're now ahead 15-14. And they got an extra point!

There's a Bud Light commercial where people are just smacking each other. It's really making me laugh for some reason...smacking people is funny.

The heart attack commercial isn't as funny. A guy dressed as a heart is being attacked by guys in shirts that say things like "Diabetes" and "High Blood Pressure". Meh.

Okay, it's been over an hour and a half...I'm ready for Prince....I think we're all praying for another wardrobe malfunction, right? Why doesn't love the idea that Prince's boob will make an appearance?!?

The Coke commercial for Black History Month is surprisingly dull. Disappointing.

Still about 5 minutes in the first half of the game. Sigh.

Ok, I have to pee...someone will probably score while I'm gone.

I'm back ... still 16-14. Colts have the ball, 2 minutes in the half, more commercials.

William H. Macy, John Travolta, and that guy from Home Improvement in a movie together as an awkward "biker gang"? What's next? How about Felicity Huffman, Daryl Hannah, and Martha Stewart in Showgirls 2: The Next Generation?

Bears recovered a fumble with about a minute and a half in the first half. Well, the Colts just got the ball back again. That didn't last long. Slippery balls are a hazard! (insert Dub's insane giggling here)

Christ, football is boring. Remember 20 minutes ago when I said there were 5 minutes left? We're at 15 seconds and the clock is running out. Colts are making a field goal attempt, but call another timeout first. And another!! And a missed kick. HAHA!! It is still 16-14 going into halftime.

And I'll be right back.

LOVE YOU ALL,
Dub