What should I do?

Da Dub is only a week away from unemployment. I can't decide what I want to do with my life. As is almost always the case with me when I'm having an existential crisis, I turned to my television friends for advice and ideas.

Here are my current options for work (Anne, pay attention, you may want to think about some of these too!):

1. Assistant to a REALLY HOT publisher. If the assisting gets dull, then I can just stare at his ass every time he walks by. (I do a lot of ass-staring at my current job already!)

2. Vampire slayer - Buffy bagged some hotties!!!

3. Flight attendant - Maybe I would crash on an island with these guys. Plus, when I check out co-workers' asses, more of them would actually be gay! (I know it is a stereotype but it's one of those true ones)

4. Gambler - Besides spending warm summer evenings on a train bound for nowhere, I'd potentially hook up in Vegas with the likes of


5. Mentor - Okay, I'm not really interested in mentoring - I just needed an excuse to include this photo.

***Dammit, if i can ever get the blogger program to work, I'll add the photo. Until then, just know it's funny! In the meantime, how about guesses about what the photo will be?***

Well, I'm off. One of my coworkers suggested yesterday that, since I don't have to worry about being fired anymore, I should start propositioning all the hot employees here. Dubbie will be in the handicapped bathroom stall (it's bigger than the others...better for "active" encounters) next week if you need to reach him!

-Dub

Free at last, free at last...

So, the Dubbie has decided to break the chains that bind him to the evil villain known as employment. My company has proven itself incredibly full of poopoo (not PooPoo, cuz she is all good!). I've worked here for eight years and have been told that I do not have the "skill set" necessary to manage the department I helped build from two people to 40. So yesterday I sat down with my "golden boy" of a boss who apparently is on a collision course with vice presidency and asked him to provide this 8-year veteran of his department (he's been here for 2 or 3) with a plan for a career path within our organization. He could not provide anything in the immediate future so I handed him my resignation letter.

I have a lot of problems with insomnia and sleep issues...but last night, I slept like a baby. See any connection there? Hmmm...

Anyone with job ideas for Dub is welcome to chime in. I would prostitute if I thought I wouldn't have to turn five tricks just to do a load of laundry. I would wait tables (it is what actors do) but I can't walk down a hallway with a cup of coffee without making waves and spilling everywhere (right, Eric?). I can't strip at the men's club in my neighborhood because it is winter and nickels are COLD! Ah, why can't I live in the days when my zoftig elegance could bring me riches?? Goddamn you, Baywatch!!!!

Dubbie OUT! (of a job!)

Sometimes I just want to punch skinny people in the neck!

Mornin' all!

Firstly, thanks to all the people who scrambled to answer the pop culture quiz yesterday...oh wait, it was just Craig!! The rest of you half-assed blog readers can just envy the amazing prize he has received...a free plug for his blog!! Go visit www.puntabulous.com. Visit it, but come back here. We'll wait....



Oh, welcome back! I know Craig's site is great, but did you really need to be gone that long?!?

Sorry, Dubbie is bitchy today. If you're a skinny person, now is a good time to close the window cuz I'm rallying all the fat kids of the world against you!

I listen to many podcasts throughout the day while I work. This morning I started the day with one of my favorites...well, previous favorites. The hosts of the show were discussing the virtues of a miniature candy bar, something the Dub certainly can appreciate. However, one of the hosts then went on to say "I don't think that any adult has any reason ever to eat a whole candy bar." What the fuck? Here's a reason for you, ya skinny little bitch, PEOPLE GET HUNGRY!!! Here's an idea for you: next time I'm eating a candy bar, try to stop me halway through it. It is a bit like giving a tiger a sirloin and then trying to get it out of his jaws of death after the first bite. You reach for half of my Whatchamacallit and I'll rip your whatchamacallit right off! Don't fuck with the fat kids, buddy -- especially when we're eating. We will mess you up!!

Dubbie needs a drink...and it's not even 8:30 yet.

Sigh...I'm off to get a candy bar.

A PooDub Pop Culture Quiz

A little Tuesday fun from the PooDubs. Poo and I were chatting on the AIM this morning and brought up Oprah's best friend/non-lover, Gayle King. I wondered if any of our readers could pick her out of a black tv sidekick lineup.

Can you correctly identify:
1. Oprah's alleged "special" friend, Gayle
2. Oversexed neighbor at 227, Sondra
3. Nosy neighbor of the Evans' on Good Times, Willona Woods
4. Nell Carter's (God rest her beautiful soul) buddy, Addy
5. The Jefferson's neighbor and half the zebra, Helen Willis

A.

B.

C.

D.

E.

Let's see who can post the correct answers first! Maybe that reader will win a prize (probably not, but you never know!).

Have a great day!
Dub

Bad bloggers...

Poo and Dub apologize for their lack of attention to their 5 fans (up from 3 before!!).

We each have excuses. Poo has been working her crazy ass off...12 hours a day, 7 days a week on a project for a company she doesn't like so much anymore. Dub has been eating, sleeping, and crapping theater for the last few days because his business partner is out of town so all the work falls onto him (plus he's acting in a show that opens tonight).

So think happy thoughts for Poopoo's project and Dubbie's opening (ewww...that sounds gross!). By the end of the weekend, they'll both look like this...



The PooDub loves you and will be back with their trademark craziness before you can say "Star Jones Reynolds is one hot bitch".

XOXOXO,
Dub, on behalf of both halves of the PooDub franchise