Where the hell have you been?

Loyal Readers,

The Poopoo and I sincerely apologize for our absence. We love our 2 or 3 readers very much and hate that we've upset you with our delay in posting.

But we do have great excuses!

First we were very busy preparing to interview celebrities on the red carpet last weekend. It is not easy memorizing all those names and credits. I couldn't just talk to Charlie Sheen about "Lucas" now, could I? And Poo didn't know any of Helen Mirren's credits past "Teaching Mrs. Tingle" so we had some work to do. Not to mention the work that the stylists had to do to make us look THIS GOOD!!!



God, we're hot. Though from looking at this photo, Poo, it may be time for me to get back in to see the plastic surgeon! You told me I looked fine! Lying bitch.

I can't remember a lot about the ceremony. I had taken a few Xanax to calm my stage fright and the last thing I remember is Melissa Gilbert winning Best Supporting Actress in a Drama for "Little House on the Prairie"...that kid is destined to be a star. Who was that host, anyway? Was that little Ronnie Howard all growed up?? He was funny...I laughed 'til I peed a little.

Well, I have to run. I am on hold for Simon Cowell right now. I'd been in talks to judge "Celebrity Duets" and that evil bitch Marie Osmond stole my spot. I should be the one sitting next to the completely incoherent Little Richard giving singing advice to the likes of Lucy Lawless, Cheech Marin, and Lea Thompson. Jai Rodriguez, see me in my dressing room! Grrrrr.

I'm off to berate Simon and try to get my job back!

Cheers,
Dubbie

What's next for our poor unfortunate...

...Pez dispenser, Star Jones!

Now apparently she is too low even to hawk cheap shoes! Payless (my new favorite shoe store) gave the old bitch the heave-ho, a much easier task now that she's lost all that weight!

I don't know what Big Gay Al (Reynolds) does for a living but I hope he can support her in her now-total unemployment...depression is a terrible thing. I see a big old binge coming. Girlfriend's gonna run up a huge tab at the 7-11! I only hope that we get this back again...



Happy Hump Day!
Dubbie

I may be even gayer now

This is Dub (cuz Poo's not gay, no matter how hard I've tried to get her to be a lesbian).

Saturday night at 11, my phone rang and one of my straight female friends said "Why haven't we seen 'Another Gay Movie' yet?" I answered that I didn't realize she wanted to see it, but this friend is frequently saying things like "I love the gays!" so I suppose I should have assumed that she'd be interested. Well, we went to the only place in Chicago that was playing the movie (the gayest cinema in all the land!) and sat among the biggest group of 'mos since Pridefest and watched this flick. It was actually a lot of fun, but here are my warnings:

1. If the zipper scene in "Something About Mary" made you squeamish, you may want to avoid the graphic vacuum pump scene.

2. If the thought of Richard Hatch (of Survivor fame) fully nude without the digital editting makes you throw up a little in your mouth, you'll fully hurl (yep, all his bits and pieces are on full display here!!).

3. If you are an animal-rights activist, the scene with the gerbil (oh yes, it is true!) may be a bit disturbing to you.

The movie is fun and silly and there are a lot of cute references to other goofy teen comedies. And Graham Norton is damn funny in it!!

That's all for now.
Dub

PooPoo is Here

Hi Dubbie-
Sorry I have been MIA. My days at work have been very long and busy. And, don't forget my long commutes on the EL - about 50 minutes to travel about 6 miles... worst. service. ever! Soooo, by the time I get home I don't want to just sit in front of my computer. But, I manage to squeeze in some fun. Over the weekend, I was able to hang out at the beach with some of my girlfriends. I'm sorry you couldn't join us, we had a blast!



smooches-
Poo

I would SO make fun of this...

...if I wasn't already planning to set my DVR!! But oh, Susan, how you've sold out...

http://www.playbill.com/news/article/101303.html

Poo, we should go to auditions!!!!!