PooDub

An opinionated single gay man and his fabulous straight female friend in Chicago blog their asses off on important topics like Star Jones Reynolds, raccoons, and gay social life.

Monday, July 31, 2006

A Letter To My Ex!

Dear "Hot Guy in Suit Who Rides My Bus and Train":

We're through! Yes, you're lovely and wear very expensive suits and really nice shoes, but today was the final straw!

Do you realize that today is the THIRD time you've jumped onto the train KNOWING that I am a few feet behind you on the stairs and let the train doors close? Normally, I would curse you a bit and then think of your cute butt bounding up the steps two at a time and forget I was angry, but NOT THIS TIME, BUSTER!! It was already over 80 degrees and humid as hell this morning and you didn't have the common decency to hold the door for 15 seconds! I hope you saw my dirty look and heard what I called you! (Or at least read my lips...that's right, I said it!)

I stood out there in the humidity after running up the steps to try to get into the a/c for another ten minutes.

Bitch, you'd better be prepared for quite the snubbing tomorrow morning on the bus. No "God, I wish you'd leave your wife and do me" grin for you tomorrow.

Sincerely,
A very sweaty Dub

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Its Alive!!!!

The other day Dubbie bought new sandals at the Nordstrom Rack. I left them in the bag on my dining room table. When I went to get my new shoes, the bag was moving across the table! Had I bought shoes that already had feet in them?!?!? Were my ghosts moving them?!?! (I live in a haunted apartment, but that's a story for another time) I carefully sneaked over and this is what I found!



I'll say this for her, the girl's got taste!

I'm off to drink at my company's annual "Booze Cruise" on Lake Michigan. I'm sure I'll have stories and photos soon!!!

-Dub

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Dubbie's Dream Has Come True...


My fantasy man, Lance Bass has come out of the closet! We are going to be so happy now. He will be on the next cover of People, that most reliable of news sources, proclaiming his fondness for all things homosexual and, I can only assume, his love for me.


Am I right, Lance, honey?










If I can't have the Punty, I'm gettin' me another celebrity! ;-)

- An ever-so-happy Dub

Monday, July 24, 2006

The Wait is Over

Hey all.

I apologize for the delay in blogging. FOr those of you who don't know, The Dub is a very famous theater director and opened a show last weekend, so he's been way too busy to blog. Well, most of that is true...all except the famous part.

So, the date happened. And it was a bit disappointing. The guy was nice and all, but I asked simply for honesty from him and he kinda misrepresented his appearance...ah, the joys of internet dating. See, Dub is what the gay folk call a "bear", which means I'm gay but I don't do the gym and I don't wax my chest...the point is that a bigger guy is not a problem with me. Be chubby/chunky/beefy/fat whatever you want to call it, but be honest about it. Don't tell me that you weigh 220 when you quite obviously, upon sight, do not. I weigh more than that, so why lie to another fat guy? If he'd been honest with me, I'd have been fine. But he wasn't, so I feel a little annoyed. If someone would lie to you about their looks just a couple days before you're going to see him in person, what else will he be dishonest about? Why do people have to lie? It makes Dub sad. I just want to meet someone honest and nice...is that so much to ask?

Bottom line...still chatting with the guy but not sure what is going to happen, if anything. Another big issue with me: he complained constantly about having to walk places. Dubbie's a chubby, but he walks a LOT and enjoys it. You don't have to be an athletic guy to hang out with me, but I prefer someone who is at least active.

Ah well. I guess I'm still single. Punty? :-)

I'll blog with some of my Gay Games photos later. I'm tired and I'm grumpy and I'm blah. If you were looking for humor, I guess you went to the wrong blog today. Sorry. Poo? Maybe you can be funny.

Dub

Friday, July 14, 2006

Now come on!

Dubbie has a long list of pet peeves, but one of his fashion pet peeves are undershirt sleeves that are longer than the shirts they are under. You know the look I mean! This morning on the train, I witnessed something even worse. There was a guy on the train wearing boxer briefs that were easily two inches longer than the shorts he was wearing over the top. Come on! It looked ridiculous. These weren't bike shorts, they were gray cotton boxer briefs. Oy!

So, there is excitement in Chi-town as the Gay Games kick off tomorrow night! I was out for lunch in the Loop today doing some shopping and there are homos everywhere. Dubbie is in heaven!! And he is very excited to be attending the opening ceremony of the Gay Games tomorrow night (with a date even!!!). I'll take photos (though we are actually sitting ABOVE the nosebleed seats...jets will probably block our view from time to time) and blog my ass off on Sunday or Monday about it.

Have a great weekend everyone (okay, by everyone, I mean Lisa, Amanda, Anne, and Poo. I don't think anyone else reads us!)

Dubbie loves you! MWAH!

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Sport and Dance Collide!

The Dubbie Dating Saga Continues...

Who else but Da Dub gets blown off (not in the good way!) and then gets the message that his date has strep throat for the reschedule?? He actually felt really bad about it and asked if I'd like to come over and watch a movie or something so that we can meet, but I prefer to not catch the plague so I politely declined. We will be rescheduling yet again...more to come in the continuing saga of the Great Undatable Dubbie.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Dubbie gets an excuse...

...and gives the stander-upper a second chance.

So, he says that he was hung up at a friend's house in the burbs and didn't have my number with him. He was very apologetic and offered to take me out tomorrow night to make up for it. So, I'm giving him another chance.

New conclusion: MOST gay men are pricks. The jury's still out on this one. I'll let you know tomorrow night!

Dub

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Dubbie Gets Stood Up

:-(

Dub was very excited that he thought he'd met a decent guy who wasn't looking for a one-night stand and actually wanted to go on a date for dinner and to see a play. He made the mistake of telling some of his friends about it and now has been stood up and looks like a giant fucking loser. Again! No phone call, no email, no text message...just said "I'll talk to you between 4 and 5" and then nothing.

Gay men are such fucking pricks. Why is that?

Dubbie is depressed tonight. Blech!

Friday, July 07, 2006

TGIF!!!

I know that having Tuesday off should have been refreshing, but it just made Wednesday feel like a new Monday.

I have promised myself that I will not become one of those bloggers who talks about his cats like an old homo with nothing else in her life (tho I gotta tell you, I don't have much more than them pussies!), but I have to share this story. I have a gorgeous (and monstrous) cat named Tootie (named after "Facts of Life" and her ridiculous flatulence). I am also currently foster-parenting a friend's adorable cat while she relocates to a new home. Tootie has always been pretty mellow as a single cat, but the additional feline has inspired some craziness in my household. I've come home to things in the past such as a rug in a different room than it was intended for, broken candles on the floor, rearranged knick-knacks in a shelf, and kitty vomit in places you really don't want it (bed, clean folded laundry, etc). Last night, I was out with friends celebrating my best friend Lisa's 34th birthday (girlfriend's gettin' OOOOOOOLLLLLLLDDDDDDD!!!). I got home a little before 10pm to find EVERYTHING off of my dining room table on the floor and two of my dining room chairs on their sides. After doing the initial panicky "have I been robbed?" run thru the apartment, I realize that all the other rooms of the apartment are in tact (with the exception of a tshirt that I left on the floor of my bedroom now being in the doorway of another room). So...my conclusion: either someone broke into my apartment to have some mad passionate love on my dining room table (at least somebody's getting something in that place!!) or Tootie and Isabelle had a doozy of a party. Nothing was broken or damaged, but it was a crazy disaster. I thought about taking photos, but then anyone who reads this will know what a slob I am. And it seemed silly to vaccuum a room so that I could take a photo of how messy it is.

I should probably do some work, I guess. Blech. Have a good weekend, Poo and all.

MMMMMWWWWAAAAAHHHHH!
Dub

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Poppies will make them sleep...

Poo, that's a reference from a movie I like called "Wizard of Oz"...perhaps you've heard of it.

I just wanted to apologize to all our fans (okay, well....to Lisa) for not having time to blog. Poo and Dub went to brunch together the other day and we found these while we were out walking...



We figured it would be fine to pick mushrooms that we found in the city in some stranger's yard and make homemade pizzas. Not a good idea...we've been sleeping since the 4th. I'm actually still asleep...not sure how this is getting posted. Creepy...

- Dubs

Monday, July 03, 2006

Dubbie's Wildlife Adventure

I got away from the big bad windy city this past weekend and visited my parents. They live downstate in a very small town in the middle of acres of wooded land. There are always tons of squirrels and rabbits and wildlife around their yard, even wild turkeys live in their backyard.

This weekend was especially Animal Planet. As mom and I returned from a trip into town, we noticed at the end of her lane that there was something standing just outside the woods. Three baby deer stood there staring as we drove up...Bambi triplets (not the porn kind) with spots and all. They stood there for a full minute staring at us before retreating just into the woods where we could still see them. They stood there watching us and finally got curious again and all came back out of the woods and got within about 10 feet of the car before deciding to dart back into the woods.

The same night, we had just finished watching a movie and my mom had gone to bed. My stepdad and I were watching tv and chatting when we heard something outside. We went to the window and there were three raccoons playing on the deck. A mother and two babies. We decided to try to walk out and see what would happen. Mom raccoon freaked out a little and ran into the woods, but the babies were unphased. Even after I went to get my camera and started taking photos with flash, they still played around us...less than 5 feet away from us. One ended up on a nearby tree and the other perched on a bird feeder and helped himself to an ear of corn that was there. Since I knew it'd be unbelievable, I thought I'd post some photos of the crazy encounter...

This is the first one, perching on his little bird feeder and helping himself to the ear of corn. By the time he left, the cob was nekkid.

While we weren't dumb enough to attempt to touch the adorable little rabies machines, my stepdad decided he wanted to see if it would run if touched, so he was petting it with a broomstick. The beast just sat there and continued to eat his feast of corn on the cob.

"Hey, what about me? My sibling is much more outgoing, but I'm cute over here on the tree too, ya know!"

My parents' beagle, Daisy, just wanted a little taste, as you can see. She was ready for a fight!

As you can see, Dubbie had quite an adventure in the woods outside of Danville, Illinois. He wishes he'd had his camera handy when he saw the baby deer. No such luck.

Stay tuned. I'm sure we'll have more exciting things to tell you about soon. Maybe even Poo will share something fun. She is quite funny...she's just keeping a low profile because of that whole Witness Protection thing I'm not supposed to talk about. Oh crap!

Hugs from the Dubster.

This is too good to keep to myself...

So, later tonight I will post the story of my raccoon encounter from the weekend (complete with photos!!), but I had to share this now. My friend Amanda (visit her awesome blog at http://yupsicle.typepad.com/) sent me this link today. Its pretty amazing!!!

http://cityrag.blogs.com/main/2006/01/the_transformat.html

I knew it all along!!! Something was always fishy about that one...it was only a matter of time before she shed her human host.

Hugs,
Dub (who else would it be? Oh snap! That's right, he said it!)